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A brother lectures us!

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Photo: The Guardian Newspaper

This is actually a friend’s opinion on the day that he tried communicating his disappointment with Nigerian ladies to me…especially as it regards what he called their “materialistic nature.”

Read him first…
Nigerian ladies think class is money and what money can buy.
Nope!

Class is attitude in other climes.

A lady who has a job and picks her bills (without waiting for a man) is classy.

A lady who is humble and respectful is classy.

A lady who does not baptise her face with too many colours, in the name of makeup, is classy

A lady who can ‘gift’ her guy with something as little as a shaving stick is classy. The thought behind the gesture matters more.

Even a village girl can be very classy…in the manner she comports herself.

I have schooled within and outside Nigeria. Worked in three continents and more than five countries.

Truth is …Nigerian ladies are too materialistic… the ones from the South East, especially.

At a stage in a man’s life, you don’t bother with ladies who are considering you for your material worth-especially if you are worth only your name, job and career.

I made that mistake with a ‘TV girl’…when I thought class has more to do with an “in-your-face” complexion, a glamorous job and showy lifestyle.

Like everything else that is a flash in the pan, when my source of livelihood was shaken, she walked away without looking back. And the fact that we have kids together and given each other seven years of our lives meant nothing to her. She looked me in the eye and said that I was crowding her space and it’s not as if I can still afford her needs.

Now, I know that nothing beats true friendship, compatibility and a desire for ‘spiritual values’ in a relationship. Money does not breed love.

Being classy is not in wearing high heel shoes or the Brazilian hair that you cannot afford-unless a man pays for it. A lady who goes on ‘low cut’-because that’s what is within her budget is very classy. That is not to say that a man should not know what to do for his woman.

In fact, a man that is worth his onion shouldn’t be told what to do for his woman.

It is a man’s place to give more (materially) in a relationship. But the woman must NEVER think it is the man’s duty. It is just courtesy.

…he is not your father!’’.
OBY’S TAKE ON THE MATTER…
I have since realised that when it comes to the issue of a man spending on a woman, a lot of people are too quick to use their circumstances to preach.

The one who has lived in climes where women are more economically on their feet expect the ladies here to carry themselves in similar manners… it doesn’t matter if she is still struggling to find her feet and can do with all the “economic encouragement” she can get.

Most guys that that harp more on the ‘materialistic nature’ of our ladies are often the broke ones…experience tells me! Because the men who have the means and can afford to give…just do it.

In fact (to them) -nothing less than SPOILING A LADY SILLY will do.

Frankly…it’s different strokes for different folks.

What this brother has just listed as his idea of CLASSY may be a serious hogwash to some other man. I know a man that quarrels with his woman because of her dislike of ‘make up, weaves and all’.

According to him…she is not making enough efforts to look beautiful for him. Yet, this is exactly what someone has just condemned here.

Different strokes for different folks…wouldn’t you say?
However…
I do agree that nothing spells class more than ATTITUDE. I also agree that young ladies should learn to live within their means.
Don’t hang your taste on someone else’s pocket. It can really put you in a ‘moral’ tight-corner.

Having a man that gives you should be a BONUS but it’s no achievement. Otherwise …you should be able to live the life you can afford.

And YES…a lot more should define a relationship, besides a man’s pocket. The ones that have today didn’t always have…yet, someone stood by them.

You, too, can stand by somebody as you build your dreams together.

MEN should also understand the nature of ladies…
One who has been involved with men who give her without blinking will find it difficult coping with one who PREACHES to her when she asks, unless she makes a conscious effort to re-orientate herself. These things even affect them in marital choices.

A girl that has dated rich guys can never cope with ‘struggling’ guys. Except she is the large-hearted type, who can SHARE, as they build their lives together.


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