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Apologise to your Kids when wrong

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Apologise to your kids when wrong. Yes, you heard me right! As parents we stand as guides and role models to our children.

They tend to see us as all-knowing, mummy and daddy perfectionist, but then, we are humans who are not above mistakes.

But how do we ensure that when we are at fault our children understand that it is a mistake and learn from it?

Founder, Grace To Parent, Mrs. Remi Makanjuola, is of the opinion that parents should absolutely admit to a wrong and apologise when at fault.

“Admitting you’re wrong can be difficult, but it’s very necessary in order to build a thriving parent-child relationship. Some may think admitting faults to their children makes them look weak or reduces their authority, but nothing could be further from the truth.

When we own up to our mistakes as parents, not only does it make our parenting more effective, we are also modeling good character virtues for our children by setting a good example, building their self-esteem and strengthening our relationship.

Perhaps one of the greatest benefits of admitting our faults is, it teaches children to take responsibility for their actions.”

Makanjuola who is also the owner of Alpha’s Way Preschool in Atlanta, Georgia said that children know when we are wrong, they are much more intuitive than we think.

They may not always have the words to articulate their thoughts, and perhaps cultural boundaries don’t encourage them to speak up or confront us but they know.

Acting like we are right when in fact we are not is dishonest and hurtful, negativity we don’t want our children to learn.

Also if we pretend we are right we may be setting our children up to be mistreated in other life relationships.”

On how parents can tell their kids they are wrong and seek redress, Makanjuola said: “Children are quick to forgive so keep it simple; state your fault, provide a solution for next time and ask for forgiveness.

Avoid using words like “but or it was not my fault.” The time for you to apologise is not the time to state how your child contributed to your wrongdoing or point fingers or make accusations albeit rightful.”

Here are quick examples;

Acknowledge your fault (I spoke in anger)

Offer a simple explanation of what went wrong (I was tired and wasn’t having the best day)

Admit your regret (I shouldn’t have said that)
State realistic corrective action (Next time I will speak in a gentle tone)

Ask for their forgiveness (Please forgive me)

Admitting your fault and apologising for it makes you a better person. It frees you from guilt and future shame and you become your child’s hero. Win-win. Apologies are a powerful healing tool for both the giver and the receiver.

They help restore good feelings in the parent and reduce resentment in the child.  A good apology can be used as a teachable moment to explain to your child what happened, why it was wrong and how they should behave when they, too, make mistakes.

Children don’t need perfect parents; they need parents who are not afraid to be real. The truth will always be the best teacher.


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Parenting
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