Every girl’s hero…
I remember the complaints of an aunt many years back. She was separated from the husband for 13 years and in all those years-the man turned his back on her and their children. But one day, her daughter (the only girl) came home brandishing what she called A LETTER FROM MY DADDY.
In that letter the man promised his princess (whom he calls MUMMY) ‘everything good’ that he is either going to do or buy for her. The letter meant so much to the girl that the dad’s absence, which she suffered for 13 years of her life, was wiped off in an instant. Instead, that letter from him became a treasure of sorts, which she carried even to school and was so quick to boast to her brothers with.
My aunt kept asking, “are children this forgetful of a parent’s wrong?’’ I remember saying to her…”It depends on the offending parent o, don’t go and misbehave and expect same CLAP from her.’’
A father will always be first and foremost a girl’s hero. A friend told me that on a day that his missus started her usual drama at home, he lost his cool and decided to give her a piece of his mind. Apparently, that led to some heated moments in their home.
When he regained his cool-he looked around and mercifully -the kids were nowhere to be seen. So he decided to walk away from the scene by retreating to his study. He had hardly settled in his study when a particular knock he recognised so well as that of his daughter came softly on the door. When he opened the door, his little girl came into his study, stood looking at him for a while before saying to him, “Daddy, you have started talking like her. You know she is a ‘shout shout’ mummy.’’
He told me that for the first time in his life, he allowed his emotions to overwhelm him in the presence of his daughter. The comforting hug that the little girl gave to him, he would never forget in his lifetime!
It’s not that this seeming lopsided emotional attachment is because girls see their mums any less or see them as enemies. I just believe that it has more to do with the stage in a girl-child’s life.
As a GIRL…a dad is your ‘emotional go-to’ probably because of the SECURITY they symbolise in the life of a child. But when you become a WOMAN…a mum becomes a TREASURE…then you will begin to see the limitations of a dad where ‘woman matter’ is concerned.
As I grew older, my mother became very special in my life in an unimaginable way. That woman is my emotional pillar (now that I have become a WOMAN)…I call her my SHAME COVERER, too.
I shared this view on Facebook sometime back and a lot of friends had so much to say on the matter.
In the words of a friend… ‘’sincerely it is pure natural instinct and such mindset is naturally ingrained in human; I do not think it has anything to do with any cajoling.
“All we are attempting to do in this age is to alter that natural setting and the more we try, the more confused we become; the more complex our inter-personal relationships appear, and the more chaotic our society turns out to be. Refining the natural order is always welcome, even by our Creator, but changing it all together cannot earn us our desired outcome.
“Daughters are the best set of children any man should desire at old age; daughters are wow (wonderful) to their fathers. Woe betide the father whose daughter(s) turned their back on him. It is just natural.
Sons are the pets of their mom, even to old age. It is just simply natural. I always tell women and ladies that, if any is married to or going out with a man who does not give a damn, especially about his mum, alas, he can turn his back on you at any time, even in the slightest provocation. Any man who does not love and adore his mother is somehow the most difficult to handle by any woman.
Certainly ma, men use this natural order more to their advantage than women do, and I think that again is just natural; probably because it is to me, the only singular edge men naturally have against the women-folk; and possibly that is why women nowadays are trying frantically to create a pseudo-order, such will make the world uncomfortable for us all.
“It is just simply natural. I agree to refining and modernisation but a complete paradigm shift spells disaster.’’ Another friend also quipped, “yes, my father was an angel to me then…until my mother ‘spoke’.’’
No Comments yet