Getting rid of negative thoughts

Most of us feel lonely and sad when our man isn’t around to spend time with us. Are you that woman that type of woman that feels bad whenever you and your man spend time apart? Some of us actually feel afraid, angry, or hurt when we miss him? In most cases, it’s called a long distance relationship and if he’s actually around but you still don’t see often then you can actually make yourself think your relationship to success or failure? No joke about this, ladies! The things you think about aren’t just meaningless stuff going in and out of your mind. They have some scary power over your relationship with a man! Trust me it has happened to me in a long distance relationship I was in sometime back or it could happen in relationships where the guy has to go on frequent, lengthy trips. This means a lot of downtime for the woman. It can be days or even weeks between dates! Have you ever found yourself in that situation?

If you are in a long distance relationship with that special man and you’ve not seen for the past seven months but only on weekends. A lot of stuffs start to go through your mind. You guys might be insanely in love or even getting engaged but these thoughts are driving you crazy. The distance is felt so deeply, and it gets worse day by day. Then Issues from your past start to creep back, and you start to get insecure. I know it’s easy to miss him during the week, especially if you’re in a long distance relationship. Because the weekends when you’re together are so intense, it makes the wait so much more painful. And sometimes, relationship poisons like fear, anger, insecurity and mistrust creep up during the downtimes.

Remember what I said at the beginning of this Newsletter that you can think your relationship to success or failure. The things you think about during the week your man isn’t around might turn into words, and your words might turn into actions. So what happens when you always think of these relationship poisons during the week? What happens when you always feel afraid, angry, or insecure 6 days out of 7? I’m sorry to say this, but I’ve seen great relationships ruined by pessimistic women. When they meet their men for their weekend dates, all they talk about is how much they miss him, or why he didn’t call too often, or when he’s going to settle down with them, etc. Can you imagine how fun those dates are for the poor guy? It’s a sure way of making him dread your next date!

So Ladies, here’s my advice: Turn your thoughts around! Your goal is to keep your relationship safe from fear, anger, and mistrust. And the good news is that you can use 6 of the 7 days of the week to build your relationship’s defences! There are two keys to making it work:
1.) Set up regular times to communicate with your man. I can’t emphasize the value of video chat (Skype) it’s free, you see each other’s faces, and you can even play silly games together.
2.) Keep yourself busy by
a.) Keeping in touch with your circle of friends. They may not be great in the advice department, but they know how to have fun!
b.) Learn new recipes. You’ll be cooking for two soon, and what better way to welcome him than with some tasty new dishes?
d.) If the two of you are on the verge of getting married, start to plan your wedding! Of course, do it nicely and slowly, and make sure he’s very much involved with the preparations. Ask him: “I’m already saving up for our future. Do you want to start planning the wedding ahead of time?”

You’ll be together soon enough, so for now it’s just a matter of making the best use of your time. And when you fill your downtime with positive thoughts and meaningful actions, then relationship poisons will have no chance of ruining things for you!

So ladies here’s a question for you: What’s the hardest stage of the relationship? Is it the dating stage? Or the relationship stage? Or the engagement stage? I’m sure most of you will say: It’s the relationship stage. It’s true, because any girl can become a girlfriend but it takes a real woman to become someone’s fiancée. Unfortunately, the relationship stage is also where most of us trip up. Many of us try to make the wedding happen as quickly as possible, while the men are scrambling to keep up with us. And when things don’t happen as quickly as we want, we tend to feel anxious. We begin to wonder: “Does he really love me?” “Does he really plan on marrying me?” “Is there another woman?” Remember what I said about your thoughts? You can think your way to success or failure.

So here’s my advice: don’t let your thoughts get poisoned by anger, fear, uncertainty, and anxiety. Believe me, he’ll feel the negative vibe and it will make it harder for him to love you. Instead, do two things:

(1) Learn how to not only being a girlfriend but to being a fiancé,
(2) Prepare for your future together.
To our happiness. Cheers.