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Love and intimacy in relationships

By Kemi Amushan   |   11 February 2017   |   3:45 am

I know that one of the best feelings in the world is holding the person you love close to your heart and body; to connect mentally, emotionally and physically. We don’t realize it but our intimate relationships teach us a lot about the people we love and even more about ourselves. So what really is intimacy?

Intimacy is a deep emotional relationship that is marked by friendship and love. It can can be platonic or sexual.
Regardless of the quality of your relationship, it is expected and even unavoidable to have problems with your partner because you spend so much time together and you naturally have different personalities, preferences and needs. If there is a conflict between couples, it is a sign that the relationship needs to grow. If you feel disconnected with your partner, you need to find new ways to talk to them, communicate and connect. It is an opportunity to learn new skills in which you can be intimate with your partner. Intimacy is the foundation of love, and the journey to build it is a journey of personal growth.

So in order to understand the importance of love and intimacy in a relationship, you have to know that without love and affection, we can’t venture into self-actualization, which is the desire to fulfill our social potential. Happiness in any relationship does not come by finding the right partner; it comes by being and aspiring to be the right partner.


There are some things that you can learn from love and intimacy that can make our lives and relationships better.

Connection, Not Withdrawal, Is a Must
Intimacy is about being loved and embracing our special one with open arms. We learn that for a relationship to flourish, it is important that both partners remain connected and committed. It is simply not possible to feel withdrawn and have feelings of love. Love wants proximity, so that you can connect with your partner at a physical, mental and emotional level.

Love Is Actions Not Only Words
“I love you,” is a pleasant thing to hear often. Yet, in order to actually make a relationship work, you also need to backup the relationship with appropriate behaviors. In addition, to complementing and appreciating your spouse, show your love with actions. Try and hug and kiss each other often, make your spouse breakfast in the morning before he or she heads off to work, cook a romantic dinner for your spouse, send an intimate personal text message during the day.

Through Relationships You Grow
Some people say, “I am not ready for a relationship, and when I am ready I will be involved with someone romantically.” The question of “being ready for something” is intriguing. We can all ask ourselves that question.
*Are we ready to get married?
*Are we ready to have kids?
*Are we ready to deal with the challenges of life?

I don’t think so. I think we were born prematurely and as such, we aspire to grow, mature and be ready. When it comes to sex, love, intimacy, relationships or any other psychological readiness, I think people should just experience. It is only through experience that you become ready to engage with life. It is the relationship that makes you grow.

Vulnerability Is the Way to Deepen Intimacy
To many people being vulnerable means being weak. No one wants to be exposed and “needy.” Yet, if you have the courage to be open, honest and vulnerable, you have a great opportunity to deepen your intimacy. Intimacy rests on letting yourself go, ending all your inhibitions and giving yourself to your partner. Yes, this attitude to be successful also requires the other partner to be accepting, non-judgmental and provide the security and safety that is needed to be open and vulnerable.


Friendship Is the Foundation of Love
Intimacy and love cannot blossom without friendship. Friendship develops between two individuals who view each other as equal and treat each other with respect. Some of the key elements for a successful friendship include: acceptance, trust, enjoyment, understanding, spontaneity, and mutual assistance. A good friendship creates a more committed, loving and sexually satisfying relationship.
Personal Responsibility is Required, Not Blame.

Love is all seeing and all accepting, which means that you accept all the flaws of your partner. You work best when you work in a team, so why not accept responsibility and stop blaming your partner. Your relationship will only flourish if you accept responsibility for the problems, instead of simply transferring the blame. Responsibility breeds accountability, which promotes clear, clean and balanced communication with both ourselves and others.

Focus On Being The Right Partner
This is the most important thing that love in intimacy teaches us. If you are looking for perfection, you need to find it in yourself, instead of looking for it in your partner. Do your part in being the best partner you can be and everything else will fall into place.

In conclusion, love and intimacy are the very essence of a relationship. If two people are to stay with each other forever, they have to make a constant effort to sustain a healthy relationship while committing to long-lasting growth.

To our happiness. Cheers.




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