Men with ego the size of the earth
There are several types of men and those that can really muck up your life amongst these type of men are the toxic narcissist. This is a double dose of the regular toxic men we have.I am sure most of you know who or what a Narcissist is. I only just read that it is actually a personality disorder in which a person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity, mentally unable to see the destructive damage they are causing to themselves and to others in the process. These self-centered folks can be simply more focused on themselves. Either way, narcissists are legendarily difficult to have relationships with, so if you are truly coping with one, it might be time to make some hard decisions about the relationship.
If you want to know you are dating a narcissist,
*They lack personal responsibility- It is never, ever their fault. The narcissist cannot see the other person’s side of an issue or admit that they had a part in something that went wrong. They deny the reality that they cause a lot of their own problems.
*When confronted with your feelings, they lack remorse- This is particularly hard to deal with in romantic relationships because it is essential to be able to work through problems with your partner. Since they do not believe they are at fault in disagreements or misunderstandings, coaxing a sincere apology out of them is difficult and hollow. They will argue in such a way that causes you to feel guilty even though they were actually at fault.
*They manipulate you to get what they want- Since the most important person on the narcissist’s list is themselves, they see the people in their lives as means to an end. If they need admiration, attention or to borrow some money, they’ll find a way to get it from you.
*Preoccupied with perfection- The narcissist likes their outer appearance to match their elevated perception of the world. Surface appearances are extremely important to them. Since in their eyes, their partner reflects upon them, they will often try to control the image that their partner and family projects. They will often make their partners feel like they should be striving to reach their imagined idea of perfection. Which I think is rather unfair.
*Their life is secretly in shambles- While they may strive to appear perfect on the outside, things are not what they appear underneath. Because narcissists can even convince themselves that their lives are going perfectly, they gloss right over “hard work” and “persistence.” That combined with the fact that they treat others like crap leads to messy breakups and rocky relationship.
*They have charisma- A narcissist can be magnetic at first. They usually have a carefully crafted public persona. Frankly, putting on a repellent self-centered attitude would run contrary to a narcissist’s goals, namely; creating admiration and attention in others to get things from them. As a result, they usually have a carefully crafted public persona. You get?
*They steer the conversation toward themselves- It does not matter what is happening, a narcissist can make it about themselves. They seek out praise and validation from others and are drawn to flattery to support their oversized self-opinions.
*They do not care about problems that do not directly involve them- A narcissist is the wrong person to confide in since they are so self absorbed and rarely consider the needs of others. They will make you feel like you are boring or inconveniencing them or change the subject to something that they are interested in, usually themselves.
*They cannot stand criticism- While they may be adept at cutting you down with criticism, the narcissist does not handle criticism (constructive or otherwise) well. They may hit back or lash out.
*They have less empathy- The narcissist have lower levels of empathy as a whole, their ability to emphasize with others depends on the individual’s level of narcissism. Either way, low to no ability to put themselves in your shoes as their partner spells out a life of dealing with a very uncaring partner.
*Your relationship revolves around their needs and wants- When the going gets tough, the narcissist will often check out completely. Because they are so low on empathy, narcissists have a hard time putting the needs of others above their own. As a result, narcissists make difficult, uncaring parents and lovers. As the partner of a narcissist, your needs will not likely ever cross their radar, let alone come first.
So if you are already in a relationship with these type of men, two things may happen: You will stay in the relationship and endure many more years of abuse, to the point where your low self-esteem tells you there are no other options. Or, you will have had enough and decide to leave him for good. The latter (in which you leave him) may be the first time in your life where you are setting boundaries. You have come to the conclusion that you deserve better and you refuse to tolerate bad behavior.
But this one victorious act of boundary setting is what makes for a potentially horrific breakup. Few are prepared for it, and their lack of preparation can leave them emotionally drained. But you need to move on and leave that man. To leave your narcissist guy, you must prepare well beyond your average breakup between two people with irreconcilable differences. You must get inside his head, and understand what triggers him. That is the only way you can deal with and get even. Give them a taste of their own medicine.
To our happiness. Cheers,
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