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The pride of a man…

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Pride of a man

I have actually heard the claim from mostly married male friends but a discourse that I had with someone recently made me beam my torchlight on the matter again.

These men claimed that it is actually the supposedly married ‘ex’ girlfriends who would re-establish contact or reach out (after everyone has supposedly moved on) for one assistance or the other…especially if the guy is doing well economically.

In fact, they claim that these married ex-girlfriends actually reach out for assistance more than the single ladies they have encountered.

Errr, please don’t ask me what I had do if a Bill Gates, Dangote or even former president Goodluck (I know he will still be loaded) was an ex!

OK… nothing is wrong with staying in touch with an “old flame” but we all know that asking for assistance from some men could spell a lot of things (the re-enactment of OKAFOR’S LAW-for example) for any married woman.

And I am most certain that a lot of husbands, especially the ones that still have shame, will not find this comfortable.

But then, it still boils down to what I have been preaching to the menfolk…GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO WORK HARD AND BRING SOMETHING TO THE TABLE.

The laid-back attitude towards economic responsibilities of some men in this age is downright appalling.

When the PRIDE OF A MAN is not what it should be…his woman might cut corners to meet up.

I am not excusing greedy women, who will still go and misbehave, even when they are well taken care of back home.

The ‘headship’ of a man in a relationship is all encompassing and that is his PRIDE-as far as the home front is concerned. As much as possible…do not let your woman become the absolute breadwinner, but if for any reason, a need for “economic adjustment” arises-just for you to find your feet…then do all you can to get back on your feet. Do not become comfortable letting her become an absolute breadwinner. Even your self-esteem will be ‘torched’.

The modern woman has my sympathy, frankly. She only asked for equal opportunities, but seems to have ended up with ‘higher responsibilities’ on her shoulders. Hasn’t the modern woman found herself doing even the basic things that a man should be making efforts with?

There is everything wrong with a man that settles for the handouts that his woman collects from other men.

She won’t even have any regard for you-deep down. No man should ever bring himself so low, that a woman has to collect from other men to give him!

There is everything wrong with a man in his 30’s to 40’s (for example)-who has never had a job…let alone having a stable source of income. And it doesn’t matter how handsome he is or how privileged his background is.
Ladies…

Even if a man is not comfortable yet, ensure that you meet him making some TANGIBLE efforts. You should NOT immediately become a LOAN house to his lofty ideas…what if you were not in the picture? He should have some tangible results to show for his efforts before you get involved.

It is a SHAME that any sister would let herself be railroaded into paying her own bride price or solely funding a marriage… for the ‘MRS’ title!

If you go ahead with that marriage, sister… be prepared to feed a grown man all his life oo.

What will a lady be doing with a man who can’t even foot one-quarter of their wedding expenses? May I remind you that a REAL MAN would not hear of that…at worst-it becomes a 50/50!

Of course, with a man who would have no qualms moving in with you…I expect you LOOK WELL BEFORE YOU LEAP.

The PRIDE of a REAL MAN is non-negotiable…oftentimes, you (a discerning woman) would have to be the one who notices his ‘struggles’ and even at that…you practically have to nag him into accepting any kind of help from you.

But you see the man that begs at the drop of a hat, yes that one with lofty ideas that never really kicks off the ground (and often has nothing to show for his ‘big talks’), that man that moans about his economic woes more than he bothers with other issues in your relationship…do not look back as you close his chapter!!!

Their stories often don’t change.

“This is what I tell young people, be patient with this thing called marriage, when the appropriate time comes; you will marry and marry well.

You decide to marry, stay there- poor or rich and stop disturbing an ex. You can ask an ex once in a while but please don’t make it a habit, you are also disrespecting your husband’’ a friend said.


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