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The real fathers…

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Dear men… You needn’t be a biological daddy to be a FATHER! If you have ever given a child cause to smile…you are a father.
If you have ever wiped tears off the face of a mother…you are a father.
If you have ever been there for a child that didn’t come from you…you are a father.
If you have ever made an orphan to NOT feel the absence of a parent…you are a father.
If a younger one has ever looked up to you for the right path…you are a father
If you have ever put bread on the table of a hungry child…you are a father.
If you have ever shown a young one the right path…you are a father.
If you have ever made any worthwhile effort towards a child out there…you are a father.
If you have ever been PRESENT in the life of a child…you are a father.
If you have ever considered the well-being of a child –via your actions…you are a father.
If a child has never met hurts, misery, abuse or sorrow in your hands…you are a father.
If you have ever been a solution to a child in need…you are a father.
If your conduct has ever given HOPE to young ones…you are a father.
If you are the reason a child is in -school/ good health today… you are a father.

You read me?
Some people have children (as biological relations, neighbours, wards, etc)in their lives…that they have never lifted a finger for. Others have lovers that they do not even know the names of their child (ren).

But YOU that spares some thoughtfulness towards a child that you share no direct/biological links with…ARE A REAL FATHER! Your types are the reason a fathers’ days exist. A day made to remind you of how humanity is blessed…because you are here. May you have a lion share of the GOODNESS that the Universe has to offer.

I shared my thought on this issue with friends and one of them responded to my definition of real fatherhood with this comment: “Ancillary fatherhood will have to find other days (besides fathers’ day) to celebrate. Actual fathers, who will have to account to Almighty God for the upbringing of the children He gifted us, claim ‘fathers’ day’ as OUR day and celebrate accordingly, any man who, before God, adopts a child formally also acquires that primary responsibility and is also an actual father.’’

Buy my response to him is this…
Adoption before God (whatever that means) formally isn’t the only time that a man should be a FATHER to a child that is (emotionally/physically/socially, spiritually,) in need of one. When you rise to the occasion to fill the vacuum in a child’s life, you are a father!

The scope of fatherhood isn’t narrow. There are no ‘formal’ processes to it because it is an act that gives SOUL to HUMANITY.The definition of fatherhood is how a child perceives a dominant male figure around him or her. And such males include biological daddies, uncles, brothers, a mother’s love interest, a teacher, a mentor, his doctor, priest, etc.

Fatherhood is not some ‘chest thumping’ jamboree on the part of the one who feels he has ‘released’ the swimming seeds of fertilization.The question is…does the child in your life perceive you as a father? To a child, daddy is not always the biological father. FATHERHOOD means just CARE and LOVE to children and it is their definition of a father that matters (and celebrated)… Biological links or not!

In the words of another friend, ‘”some men sired some children and absconded and those kids were lovingly raised by another man. That man that raised those kids deserves to be celebrated more than the biological fathers that could not take responsibility over their kids!’’

In the words of yet another, “the concept of fatherhood goes beyond biological relationship as Oby explained. Even being a biological father alone does not qualify you for this celebration, but it is a combination of many factors. You can be a biological father yet you shirk your responsibilities, then, you are not qualified to celebrate fathers’ day. On the other hand, you may not be a biological father but can be a father to someone else…then you are the real father.’’

Mind you…
The daddy who is irresponsible to his primary duties but ‘wonderful’ elsewhere is a deadbeat.Charity begins at home! I am talking about wonderful humans-all round.Frankly, these elements of HUMANITY deserve accolades! That which others cannot do or are not interested in doing…some people are doing and will continue to do so, thereby making the world a better place…as they fill the void in a child’s life.Therefore, the narrow minded ones shouldn’t ‘drag space’ when these wonderful beings are celebrated.


In this article:
Chukwuneta Oby
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