The woman a man needs

I was privileged to be at a Women’s Entrepreneurship Conference recently and it was quite encouraging to see several women come out to do their thing! I was really excited to see women pitch to investors on the spur of the moment and they came off really strong and determined to make an impression. There are some hard working and daring women out there I must confess and I am really proud of them. I am happy to be a woman!

Nonetheless, there are still millions of women out there who don’t see the need to bring anything to the table! They desire wealth and status without the demands of long hours in the workplace. Many on the other hand, hope to marry wealthy partners. A new survey has revealed that generations of young women are rejecting high-flying careers in favor of a life of ease and luxury. The so-called ‘Easy Life Generation’ has seen their mothers struggle with demanding jobs while trying to raise families and have no desire to follow in their footsteps. They certainly don’t have any intention of doing housework or even actually loving a husband; he is meant to be their ATM (Any Time Money) machine to fund their lavish lifestyle in return for occasional sex. That’s not being a traditional woman…you know what it is!

They come into marriage with very few assets yet they spend the little money that come their way on excessive luxuries to impress their friends and this can include things like designer apparels, upscale restaurants, frequent vacations, exotic cars, spa treatments and excessive amounts of clothing, purses, shoes and accessories. And when they run into trouble, their husbands pick up the slack and fix the mess they have made of their finances.

In these days of equal education, opportunities and access to professions, women are still humiliating themselves by expecting everything from their husbands without making an effort to lift a finger! “My husband can take care of me”…they often pride. Congratulations! Then perhaps you should consider taking care of the world around you! What on earth is wrong with earning your own living and standing on your own two feet? Why have christened yourself ‘Obiageli’ (I came to eat) when you can very well be ‘Kolawole” (I brought Wealth home).

This kind of women shield behind several excuses not to work and some of the most audible reasons are:
“I’m busy keeping the Home front!”

Laundry, dish washing, vacuuming, cooking and cleaning all do not add up to 7 hours a day! Besides many women work and still do all of these…they don’t have two heads and four hands! The lie that housework is hard, time-consuming drudgery is no longer as persuasive as it may have been in the past because these days not every stay-at-home-wife even performs all of these duties. They have all sorts of domestic staff handling different duties.
“I just don’t feel like it!”

Women kind of like to feel a lot that they often forget to think…which is the real deal. In reality it’s not so much about how you feel but what it ought to be! And remember, Mrs. “I don’t feel like it” never owned a Ferrari or an Island…bought with her money!

“There are no jobs anywhere”

Where have you been searching? On the Television? In the salon or spa? At parties? Have you sent out your CVs? To how many people? If you can’t find a job, how about learning a skill and starting a business?

“It’s not in our culture for women to work”

But it is in your culture for women to eat??? Even Ants work…so says the Good Book. Talk more of a human being that God has invested a lot more artistry and intelligence!
“It doesn’t make sense for me to work”

How much are they going to pay me sef??? It’s not worth the trouble for me jare! This may be true, but does it make sense for you to spend your whole time glued to the TV, sitting around all day chatting on the phone or ‘catching up with her friends’ while your husband toils away? Rather than strolling through the mall, going to the movies every afternoon and window-shopping, it would be better to pick up a career or a skill regardless…as long as the outcome is some income, you will overcome!

Many women are carried away by highly polished stories of fake images of people sold to them via TV series, soaps and movies that don’t exist in real life. While you sit back everyday and recount reasons why you cannot do anything with your life, look around you and you will find several women in similar or sometimes worse situation than yours grinding real hard! So, stop being a delicate flower crying about life’s unfairness or who has it easier. Start re-writing your mental DNA. Drop negative habits of the “Easy Life Generation”:

a. They are always on the phone for leisure and gossip, never for business!
b. Their homes are always unkempt.
c. Their favorite thing is doing nothing – too lazy even to read a magazine except those you only need to look at the pictures!
d. They can’t cook.
e. They are forever partying. And I wonder “they are not where they ought to be in life yet, so what exactly are they celebrating all the time?”
f. They watch way too much TV.
g. They gossip a lot – Those who cant often talk about those who can!

But guess what? There isn’t even good news coming from the men’s quarters either because they have so replaced such women who pride themselves with traditional roles in the home by inventing the Washing Machine, Microwave oven, electric stove, refrigerator, sandwich maker, modern plumbing/electricity and most of the things we have at home that has now made the traditional housewife obsolete. The men have liberated themselves…they have made life easier for themselves!

Arise my fellow women! This is a call to inspire women with the courage to break free from the chains of limiting belief patterns and societal or religious conditioning that have traditionally kept women suppressed and unable to see their true beauty and power. There is nothing sexier than a woman who hustles! Being a woman is not only about fly outfits with heels higher than your IQ…No! A real woman must think like a man, act like a lady, look like a baby and work like a Horse! Get up and work, please. Don’t just exist…start living…don’t be a woman that needs a man…be the woman a man needs!

Mercy Makinde is a speaker, writer, coach and entrepreneurship advocate. She owns an online radio Station, Iaspire Radio, Nigeria’s first motivational radio Station; www.iaspireradio.com and a motivational and inspirational blog; www.iaspireblog.com.