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Conversation nationale – Part 1

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Agogo: Aboki, what is this nonsense talk about crossing to another political party?
Aboki: Nonsense talk you call it? If my progress can no longer be guaranteed within our Party, I am free to cross to another party and freely represent my people.
Agogo: Just like that?
Aboki: Yes oo! Just like that!
Okoro: The dance of this life should not be viewed from one position as our elders say.
Lagbaja: I agree that the dance steps of masquerades are better viewed from different perspectives. But it is our elders who also say that it is the place you know in the afternoon that you visit at night!

Aboki: Look here my friend what is the difference between our Party and the one we drove out in the last election?
Agogo: Are you asking me that question?
Aboki: What is the difference?
Okoro: The other Party stands for corruption and for impunity!
Aboki: You know you don’t mean that. Look at the men at the helm of affairs in our Party. Were they not in the other Party before? Were they not eating and dinning with us? Have some who crossed over to our Party not been forgiven of their sins?
Okoro: They are now born again. Go and sin no more, the Good Book says.
Aboki: What about cutting grass with two hundred million naira? Was it the other Party that did it?
Okoro: Don’t ask me jor!

Aboki: Are you not going to spend money during the next elections? Where will the money come from? Heaven?
Okoro: Emmmm..election costs money!
Lagbaja: We must not split hairs over nothing. The people themselves are foolish. They will vote for us once we pump in money into their heads before elections no matter the source of the money!
Okoro: Don’t be too sure about that oo. Things have changed somewhat! They aren’t fools anymore.
Aboki: I am crossing over to the other Party along with my supporters in my home State. Nothing will stop me. Nimota, you have not been talking. Why?
Lagbaja: She wants 35% of everything without working for it!
Nimota: That’s the height of male chauvinism!
Lagbaja: Height or depth, just say something. Chauvinism ko chauvinism ni! I believe in positive affirmation!

Nimota: You men have spoiled the world with your greed and ego. Give us the women a chance to change things.
Okoro: Change what kwa? When you have not been able to change the ozer room is it the country you can change? Abegi!
Lagbaja: Hahahaha! I’m laughing in Yoruba, Igbo, Hausa and English at the same time!
Nimota: You see yourself! Anybody who is principled cannot cross from one Party to another just because of a forthcoming election. What are the real issues?
Aboki: Grammar! That is ordinary grammar.
Nimota: Where there are ideological differences or programmes between two Parties, it would amount to ideological suicide to embrace a Party that preaches what you have stood against in your own Party!
Aboki: Ideology does not put food on the table; action does.

Okoro: Please tell her, tell them for me.
Agogo: But you should be known for something, your Party should be known for something like free education which Action Group or Unity Party of Nigeria stood for or housing for all by the National Party of Nigeria! Any fool can build roads and schools!
Aboki: There are many ways to kill a rat; the important thing is for the rat to die!
Nimota: See the kind of National Assembly that you have. jagajaga National Assembly!
Lagbaja: Legislative Houses are often like that; they always fight over one thing or another.
Nimota: Is that why a Senator will be doing dancing in a video and bearding his enemies?

Aboki: It is politics. Everything is politics. In the First Republic, Parliament had its own clowns.
Nimota: So you do agree that some of the legislators are clowns!
Lagbaja: Where are the serious Legislators? What have they achieved?
Okoro: The country is burning; we must save it by putting out the fire.
Agogo: Yes oo. Boko Haram is there. Herdsmen are there. Kidnapping nko? That one is putting fear into everybody.
Lagbaja: Now they have said ISIS or IS or ISIF is sneaking into Nigeria!
Aboki: I hope you are not saying that it is the duty of legislators to stop the herdsmen and kidnapping!

Agogo: Not exactly; but they should make the necessary laws.
Aboki: How can they when even the Inspector General of Police and the Head of Customs would not obey their orders?
Nimota: It is the Executive Arm of government that is protecting them.
Aboki: It is not the President fa! President does not have a hand or foot in those matters.
Nimota: Are you saying that the President does not know that the IG ignored the Senate?
Lagbaja: That was politics. The President knew everything. He is not clueless. He gets his briefings every day.
Aboki: Are you sure?
Agogo: Why then did he not know that the IG disobeyed his instruction to stay in Benue State after the January massacre?
Aboki: I do not know.
Lagbaja: Are you watching events in Ekiti States? Did you monitor the APC State primaries across the country?
Okoro: I did; I think we all did.

Lagbaja: In Ekiti State, during a mumu rally before elections mumu people were shot at by a mumu policeman!
Okoro: A former House of Representatives member, my good friend Opeyemi was injured by a bullet shot!
Aboki: It is a serious matter. Everybody wants to eat the national cake by force.
Nimota: That is wrong. Was that not why PDP failed woefully?
Aboki: Is there any difference between APC and PDP?
Okoro: Same ten and ten pence, my people would say.
Agogo: Why is no one talking about the Niger Delta?
Aboki: You are free to talk about it fa! We have been talking about it since 1967!
Agogo: But nothing has been done to stop the injustice there!
Okoro: What have your people done to stop the injustice?

Agogo: That’s why we have been fighting; our boys took to the creeks to fight!
Aboki: And got amnesty to keep them shut!
Agogo: They have not completely kept quiet. You know, money can split any group. But the boys are getting angry again.
Nimota: If I were the one I would remain perpetually angry! The injustice stinks to high heavens!
Okoro: They need a strong perfume, something like sosorobia to kill the smell!
Agogo: It’s not a laughing matter!
Okoro: When a situation becomes too serious you should just laugh! It helps the spirit to survive the harshness of the environment.
Nimota: You men are not serious. I’m going to a women’s meeting.
Okoro: Let us reconvene tomorrow!


In this article:
ConversationHope Eghagha
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