Can you ever trust after break up?
I am a guy of 27 years old, an architect. I have seen similar situation in your column, so I decided to write my own experience, maybe I can get a solution.
My girlfriend of 22 years of age and I had been together for more than two years, then all of a sudden, she decided to end things, as she thought things had changed. This really hurt me, as I still loved her as much as ever and wanted things to work.
We were apart for two months when she decided she wanted to give things another go, as she said she was always having a strong feelings towards me.
We got back together and we still love each other as much as anything, but there is one big problem holding us back- I don’t know how much I trust her, because I don’t know what she has been up to the while we broke up, and I couldn’t figure out any genuine reason why she left in the first place.
Last month, I logged onto her Facebook account (we both knew each other’s passwords) and this boy she had only just met was slagging me off to her and putting me down, and to my surprise, she went along with it and said something, which really hurt me, something I would never dream of saying about her.
I had even seen some funny messages on her phone. Anyway, I confronted her and she said she mucked up and begged me to forgive her, which I did, because I really do love her.
It has been a month since this incident happened and I just can’t seem to let it go and forget about it. She asked me recently if I felt ok about her seeing this same guy, who was putting me down and I said yes, even though it is really bugging me, because I didn’t want her to feel like I am restricting her freedom.
I know she would never cheat on me, but having caught her speak bad things about me with this boy and flirt with other boys in the past makes me question why she did it. I think she likes the attention, but I just don’t know.
How can I let this go? She never cheated on me, but she betrayed me and I am finding it really hard to trust her 100 per cent like I used to before we broke up.
Any thoughts or advice would help a lot, as this is really stopping us from being happy like we used to be.
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