Sustaining A Long Distance Relationship
Nearly everyone has been involved in a long distance relationship at some point in their life. I just recently came out of one so it’s not news. Most of us have failed to maintain it, and have inevitably broken up, even though it may have been a promising relationship.
According to a little bit of experience, long distance relationships, used to have an expiration date of just six months. But with applications available on the Internet, such as Skype, tango, viber and the likes of it on mobile phones and tablets, relationships that span hundreds or even thousands of miles have a higher success rate than ever before. Unless it’s not meant to be anyways.
In order for a long distance relationship to last, there must be…
*A commitment from both partners to make the relationship work over the miles.
*Established parameters – Both partners need to find agreement about where the relationship is heading.
*Staying in contact – With Skype or Tango or Viber, daily scheduled contact is easy and far less expensive than a regular phone call, and there is an added bonus of the two of you enjoying video chats. Surprise one another with a love note, in addition to talking or sending an instant message. Schedule things you can do together on the Internet, such as playing a game or watching a movie at the same time. It’s easier now.
*Seeing each other in real life, face-to-face is a necessity to sustain your relationship. Having physical contact with your romantic partner cannot be replaced by any technology. A touch or kiss is impossible to replicate without direct physical contact. As a visit ends, begin planning the next one.
*Nurture each other’s security by having a crystal-clear understanding of where your relationship is at presently and where you both want it to go. Establishing security occurs when the two of you make plans that are kept, such as visits to one another, communication times online, and talking about what comes next. The most important thing in nurturing security is agreeing that if either of you feel that the long distance aspect of your relationship no longer works, you will tell your partner. Its not going to be easy but it is better you tell them immediately so they can start getting over it as soon as possible.
*Trust is the kingpin of all great relationships but is even more important in a long distance relationship. Of course, both of you will feel insecure at times, especially when either of you goes out to dinner with friends. But you both must do this to have a normal social life. Insecurity passes, but trust keeps the relationship strong.
*Treat your relationship with the respect it deserves. Many long distance relationships fail because one or both members of the couple dwell on and share with each other the loneliness and pain of being separated; this poisons all your communications, online and off. Be upbeat and thankful that you have found each other.
*Establishing a time that the long distance relationship ends and being together begins is vital to keeping your relationship going. Uncertainty about the next step breeds anxiety and stress in the relationship and that is toxic. Trust me.
*You must have your own social life and not stay at home while your significant other is out with friends or a watching a movie. If you are short on friends, maybe you need a pet for those times you feel alone. Dogs and cats give love unconditionally. Well it might not really help but it’ll take the edge off, trust me.
*When well-meaning friends discover you have a long distance relationship, nine times out of 10, they will tell you that you are nuts, no meaningful relationship needs to be so hard, and that such relationships never work. Ignore them. Because some of them actually work.
You’ll be amazed at how much more long lasting that long distance relationship will last.
To our happiness. Cheers.
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