Questions I’m asked – Part 3

Questions are important than the answers. The problem with our tradition and culture and why we feel limited is because they are answers with no question.

Even the kingdom of God, righteousness and life after death would need some interrogation and curious enquiries to make things clear. Jesus answered questions that came to Him. I will share just a few of the questions I am usually asked.

Question 1: My problem is that we have been married for nearly three years and no child, and we need a child desperately.

My job keeps me away from home during the week, but nearly every weekend, I go home and my wife and I make love often, but she never becomes pregnant.

Do you have any suggestions?
Answer: I get the impression that you don’t know that there are only a few days in the monthly cycle of a woman in which she can get pregnant. Those few days are called ‘Baby Days.’

A woman should learn how to recognise her ‘Baby Days. What her body does each day of her monthly cycle is important. Once she recognises her these days, you should have sex with her on such days. A woman has a few bleeding days each month, but if she pays attention, she will notice that there is a time in those days when the lips covering her vagina feel wet and slippery.

The body produces two fluids- blood and mucus. That is what makes her vagina lips feels so wet. It is not inside the vagina, but on the lips outside it.

The point is that a woman can easily become pregnant on her mucus days. In fact, the purpose of mucus is to make easy path for the sperm to enter the uterus.

A woman’s ‘Baby Days’ are (A) All of her mucus days, plus (B) the three days following her last mucus day.So, your wife should make a chart each month. Avoid sex for a while, at least a month, to let her accurately know her ‘mucus’ Baby Days.

This is because sex on its own causes the vagina lips to be wet and that wetness makes it difficult for a woman to know when her mucus has started flowing.

Once this is well established, you should have sex with her on the best two days of her ‘Baby Days.’ I suggest you avoid sex a few days before her Baby Days, as this will give your body time to build up a lot of sperm.

Then, don’t use lubricant during sex. Spend a lot of time in foreplay and her body will provide its own natural lubricant.
Question 2: We had pre-marital counsels before we got married, my wife and I, but what I still don’t get is trying to find out what turns on my wife…

Isn’t it supposed to just happen between a man and a woman?
Answer: As husband and wife, you need to understand the differences between a male and female, especially in ways they respond to sexual stimuli.

Men get turned on by what they see. Sometimes it is not just nudity; it could be facial smiles and other observable gestures. But a female becomes excited when a man meets her emotional needs. A woman feels attracted to a man who is kind, caring and understanding.

Of course, she is also interested in a nice-looking body, but that is not number one with her. The thing that really turns a woman on is a man who talks with her, listens to her, appreciates her, looks at her and is thoughtful of her needs.

A woman who wants to get her husband turned on shouldn’t enter the bedroom or sitting room with old, unattractive nightie. Her husband always wants to see her, in nude or close to it.

Most times, they don’t say it, so that he won’t be misunderstood to be lustful. But if the next day the woman puts on a very ‘lately’ nightie, he is excited and jumps on the bed, ready for action.

But his wife is thinking, “he doesn’t really care about me; he only wants to use my body to satisfy himself.”She doesn’t refuse; she lets him use her. But she does not feel loved; she feels used.

How does he feel? Hurt. Because she did not get excited enough even though he followed all the correct sexual techniques. He wonders if there is something wrong with her sex organs or if his penis is too small.

My advice is that the men shouldn’t wait till bedtime to be sweet to the wife; be loving throughout the day. Care for her as a person, not just a body.

The wife should not dress to turn other men on. But when they are alone together, she can put on those things she won’t wear outside, just for the man she loves. It will save the day!

Question 3: I have heard that sometimes, a man must have part of penis cut off by surgery in a hospital. Is that true?
Answer: True. And if the man does not keep his penis clean, it may become badly infected, especially those that share regularly.

If you share the scrotum and other fleshy part, you should wash regularly, pulling the skin back and wash with warm water and soap.
-E. C. Samuel, crossrayz@gmail.com,
08027173447