The battle over aroma – Part 1

Can you imagine this scenario?

A very strange young man, named Bernard Kukuye, accused his neighbour’s family of eating and spoiling his cooked meal with their nostrils!

That was the real cause of the trouble brewing at 10, Akinloye Street, Surulere, Lagos, at the moment.

Everybody knew Bernard to be a funny, quirky and bizarre young man.

He was the only bachelor in the house and had no friend in the neighbourhood, just because of his unbecoming, strange attitude and behaviour.

For the past three months since he got a job as a sales representative with Zochonis Production Company, he would never let his next neighbour, the Ikengas, have peace of mind. He was such a fantastic cook.

But no one knew he could take this matter to the extreme and utterly annoying level.

Almost on daily basis, he would go to the market to buy delectable foodstuffs and condiments and bring them home into his very neat kitchen.

Pronto, he would start preparing his ‘delicious’ meal and whistling while preparing his dishes.

Only God knew why Bernard hated the Ikengas so passionately.

If for any reason Mr. and Mrs. Ikenga and their four kids passed by at that very time, trouble of apocalypse magnitude would erupt, as he would accuse them of stealing and eating his sweet meal with their noses.

Bernard was a slender, tall and dark-skinned man with very string-like and imposing moustache.

He was in his late 20s and so fond of young girls, who always flocked around his apartment.

He was nicknamed ‘the babes man’ in the neighbourhood because of his delirious penchant for dating and dumping young girls at will.

Bernard’s apartment was never short of highly seductive damsels, who would always flock around him like ants rushing over sugar.

These young, lascivious girls had no inkling that danger lurked around the corner for them regarding their ways of life, as they could contract terminal venereal diseases.

Bernard had the highly irritable style of playing his music box very loud to the annoyance and discomfort of the whole house.

Nothing would make him lower the volume of his music gadget once there was electricity supply.

The landlord had threatened to serve him quit notice because of his bad and disturbing manners, but all to no avail.

Really, it might be that Bernard was into drugs because of his unconventional and weird lifestyle.

He had no good and polite manners and led a bawdy and rough lifestyle reserved mainly for people who patronise ‘drug zones.’

It was a blissful Saturday, like every other day. Bernard had just finished cooking and was about eating.

He took a meal of two mouthfuls of the rice and stew and noticed the children of the Ikengas playing around his window.

He was really flabbergasted, completely angry and infuriated.

He screamed: “What in heaven’s name are you stupid children doing near my window?

You want to use your nostrils to eat my delicious meal?

Hell, they have robbed me of my food! It isn’t sweet again, oh God!

I will teach you how to behave very soon.

You’d better steer clear of my territory right now, you nasty, hungry children.”

The Ikenga kids were unmindful of the threats of Bernard and continued playing.

Just then, like a flash of lightning and thunderbolt, Bernard rushed out of his parlour and gave the innocent children hard knocks on their heads.

The kids cried in pains and …

(To be concluded next week Saturday)