Thursday, 28th March 2024
To guardian.ng
Search
Breaking News:

Moving on

By Kemi Amushan
16 October 2015   |   10:49 pm
WHEN you start to feel that your man is acting weird and is not behaving normal like he used to, then there is something up. Men have a way of making you feel guilty for what you did not even do

RelationshipWHEN you start to feel that your man is acting weird and is not behaving normal like he used to, then there is something up. Men have a way of making you feel guilty for what you did not even do. At that point, I bet you his mind is already away from the relationship.

Either he has found someone else or he’s just tired of the relationship but not saying anything. That’s why today’s special Newsletter is designed to help out those who need to make big dating decision in their love lives soon but are stuck in the middle and don’t know what to do, for those who are currently in struggling relationships, and are wondering if they should keep working on it or if they should break up with their men and move on.

It is a serious decision to make, too. If you keep trying, it might eventually work out or you might end up wasting years of your life. And if you move on, you just might meet your “Mr. Right” next or your next boyfriend might be even worse than this one. That will be a mess but there is always a way out. So should you stay with him, or should you leave him? Here are a few things you need to watch out for before you find yourself stuck.

So Has He Ever Lied To You?
Trust is one of the pillars of any strong, happy, lifelong relationship and if he habitually lies to you, it means he does not trust you completely. And that means you should not trust him, either! If he is a compulsive, habitual liar, it means he has been like that all his life. And it is not likely he is going to change for you.

Does He Hide Things From You?
Does he log out of any social media the moment you walk in or does he quickly drop his blackberry and locks it when you are around or hesitate to lend you his mobile phone, and does he delete all his texts? If you feel he is hiding something, you are usually right. Here is the rule: If he is really ready to commit to a serious relationship with you, he should have absolutely no problem with giving you his e-mail and social media passwords. Any less than that, and you are taking a risk with him!

Is He Too Self-Centered?
Have you ever wanted to tell him about the bad day you just had but he brushed it off, and wanted to talk about something that concerned him, instead? Couples in serious relationships know how important it is to be concerned for each other’s welfare. If he is selfish now, he will probably be selfish in the future and it is better to leave him and take your chances with other, more “giving” guys. Trust me.

Is He Rude To People?
Guys have a saying that goes: “If he is good to you, but rude to the waitress, then he is not good.” If he is rude to other people, then do not be fooled at how nicely he treats you. The moment you disagree on something, no matter how small, he is going to show his true colours and they are not going to be pretty!

Is He Lazy?
Finally, if he does not have it in him to pursue a meaningful, productive career and instead stays home to watch football and smoke the whole day… need I say more? Let me tell you something, It is a man’s role to be the main provider and protector of the family. If he is not carrying his share of the load and is instead making your own burden even heavier, he is sorely unqualified for a serious relationship. That is it plain and simple.

The time to choose is now. So how well or how badly did your man score in this little survey? If he is showing two or more of the red flags mentioned above, I highly recommend you stop trying to make the relationship work, and just move on. Why? Because as much power as you have to motivate him to change, it is simply too much work for too little benefit. And believe me when I say there are better, more mature, and more available single men out there just waiting to meet a woman like you! But on the other hand, if he is showing only one (or better yet, none) of the red flags mentioned above, then you are in a much better position to make him change for the better.

So make your decision now. The year has just started, anyway. Make it your New Year’s Resolution! Word of advice: Whatever you decide to do today, remember that your future will be bright. No doubt about it. Why? Because I believe it is not the decision itself that makes the biggest difference in your life but what you become by making the tough choices.
These tough choices turn you into a wiser, stronger, and more confident woman. And these will definitely help you find, meet, catch, and keep the perfect guys for you! All what is left for you to do is to match your new-found strength with the right knowledge.

Since you have been reading most of my newsletters for a while now, you are already head-and-shoulders above most other women in the dating scene. You have the skills to handle the big problems, and you have the maturity to not make the big mistakes. Unfortunately, most guys do not have your skills and maturity.
And unfortunately, guys make up the other half of the relationship equation. Like I always say, “It takes two people to make a relationship work!”

Here is what I am saying: He will need you to show him the way. Whether he is your current boyfriend or the next one, he will need you to help him out with his issues and problems if you truly love him and want him to be the one. Just sit him down and pour out your heart and fix the problem. Once you do that, he will know you are serious and he would even trust you more in handling the relationship better. But if he still wants to go, then at least you know deep within your heart you tried your best.
To the loving relationship we all

0 Comments