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Helping your spouse to be more romantic

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Bishop Charles Ighele

People who know my wife (Carol) and I very well usually say that I am more romantic than her. But what they do not know is that I am not only more romantic than her, but also far more romantic than her.

In our marriage, therefore, I determine the romantic growth.

Someone may ask: can a marriage grow romantically, especially when people are no longer as young as they used to be? Oh yes, a marriage can grow romantically, if it is still very much alive because every living thing grows. Many marriages are either dead, dying or are in stagnation romantically.

A marriage that has romantically stagnated does not necessarily mean it is full of quarrels.

There may be quarrels or no quarrels. But the holding of hands, the sweet words, the kisses, the holidays, the eating and chilling out, the shopping together and the sexual communication might have stagnated or withered away.

I decided early in my marriage that I will deliberately take steps not to allow our romantic flame stagnate or quench. Since I wedded Carol, over thirty years ago, our romantic flame had stagnated on many occasions.

But when it happens, Carol hardly knows until I point it out to her that the fire is quenching and that we need to do something to make our romantic fire hotter. Because I am the president of our home and self-appointed minister for romance affairs of our marriage, I try to make sure that we keep looking for ways to be romantically attracted to each other. As far as I am concerned, packaging matters a lot.

People are likely to buy a product that is very beautifully packaged but a little lower in quality than a product that is higher in quality, but badly packaged.

A man of God said many years ago that “beauty attracts” and each time Carol and I make efforts to work on our clothes and our looks, we get more attracted to each other.

For example, as the minister for romance affairs, there was a time I had to take my wife out shopping for the kind of clothes I felt would make me to be more romantically attracted to her. Remember, beauty attracts.

Just this week, Carol and I had to discuss a lifestyle being put up by one of us that was capable of having a negative effect on our romance life. We felt discussing it would make us more romantically attracted to each other.

The point I am trying to make all along in this write up is that, the most romantic among couples should try to assume the responsibility of making each other look romantically okay, so that their romantic life will not die or stagnate. From time to time, my wife and I and the whole family go to private beaches by the ocean, or lagoons just to enjoy God’s creation.

But about a week and some days ago, I wanted to spend a whole day with my wife only at one of these private beaches as a way of growing our romance lives, but we ended up watching a morally instructive movie at our daughter and her husband’s home.

But I am looking forward to when Carol and I will be alone at the beach snacking, strolling, holding hands and just deciding to love each other more. Do not allow your romance life to die or stagnate. Work on it deliberately. Love you.

For further counseling, call: 09098845521,07066579379 and 08065415059


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