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How is your apology tank?

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Bishop Charles Ighele

The “tank” where eaten food is stored in the body is the stomach. There are, however, other “tanks” such as the “love tank,” which is not physical. The word “love tank” is used by marriage counselors worldwide. I do not know who first coined and used it. Marriage counselors use it to refer to couples’ ability to not just only know what makes their spouses feel loved, but also how to supply what makes them feel loved into their “love tank.”

We have identified another invisible tank, which we believe is in all humans. We call it the “apology tank.” What is an apology tank? It is that invisible place in the soul of a human being from where apologies are demanded, supplied, stored and used. If a person has not yet gone into marriage, it will be very proper for such a person to examine his or her apology tank. Just as it is not proper to drive a car with a leaking petrol tank, that is how it is not good to go into marriage with a leaking apology tank.

Somebody going into marriage should, therefore, try to know his or her apology demand level, apology supply level, and quantity of apology he or she will need to fuel his or her life and keep it moving steadily and happily. It will not be out of place for people in courtship to discuss and know about the state of each person’s apology tank, so that necessary repairs can be carried out through counseling before they get married.

The art of apology should be discussed, taught and understood, if the marriage will enjoy good success. Just as it is difficult to find an adult who has not mistakenly beaten his/her tongue or lips, that is how it is also not possible to find any marriage where apology will not be required at one time or the other. Every human that does not know how to apologise is not yet emotionally mature to go into marriage.

If one is already married, the couple should also discover the apology demand level, apology supply level, and quantity of apology he or she will need to fuel his or her life and keep it moving steadily and happily.

Are you the type who easily gets offended and demand to be apologised to often? Then, it means that there is a problem with your apology demand level and this puts your apology tank in an unhealthy situation. Are you the man or woman who finds it difficult or struggles to apologise? This means there is a problem with your apology supply level and this puts your apology tank in a serious trouble. It will take some people one or more hours, days, weeks and months for their husbands or wives to fill them with the quantity and quality of apology they need before they can bounce back to their normal selves.

If you belong to this category, it means that your apology quantity level has a serious problem, which eventually puts your apology tank in a bad state. I mediated in the case of a couple, who lived in the same house for 10 years without talking to each other, because they refused to apologise to each other.

When you know that God will not hear your prayers, when you decide not to forgive, you are likely to know how to accept apology or offer apology, so that the spiritual atmosphere God needs to act in your affairs is provided. I pray that God will give us the wisdom to constantly put our apology tanks in order. Love you.


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Bishop Charles Ighele
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