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When you meet your now married ex-boyfriend

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Charles Ighele


There is a spirit of leadership, which God put in man that wants to make the average man to be in charge. This spirit is highly on display, when many men pursue females for marital or immoral relationships. No man likes being turned down, when he makes love advances to the opposite sex. The average man wants to have his way. He wants to “conquer” every female he likes. “Conquering” of women gives an immoral man a sense of pride and achievement. That is why a seventeen-year-old boy will boast to his mates at school about how girls “fall” for him.

Some men have a false sense of the spirit of ownership over any female that was once their girlfriend or had a casual sinful sexual affair with. Do not be surprised if you hear a man tells another man that a prominent married woman was once his girlfriend. In fact, I know of a man who told any person who cared to listen of how one of Nigeria’s most prominent women (but now married) was once his girlfriend. But it is more difficult to hear a married woman announcing to people that another man was once her boy friend.

The point I am trying to make is that, some men have not emotionally parted ways hundred percent with some of their serious ex-girlfriends or casual girlfriends. Some men see some of their former female girlfriends as part of their conquered eternal territories. Instead of one married man keeping quiet, when he heard that his former girlfriend was about to get married, he “triumphantly” informed his male colleagues that she was once his girlfriend. Let me make it clear here that many decent men who have had girlfriends before they got married do not behave the way I described above. They allow bygones to be bygones, and try to make all efforts to make their marriages work without reference to past life, and I think this is how it should be. The word of God tells us to forget about the past and to press towards attaining the highest standard of life that God wants us to have.

Someone might be saying, “Bishop, why not go to the point and tell me how to behave when next I meet an ex-girlfriend? Go to the point.” That is exactly the purpose of the build up you have been reading. Let me now hit the nail on the head. When a sizeable number of men meet an ex-girlfriend, the feeling of ownership, the feeling of conquest, the spirit of leadership and a sense of territorial protection over the now married lady can be set in motion, when the man is not strong.

It is, therefore, dangerous for such a married man and an ex-girlfriend, who is now married to be alone or keep communicating, all things being equal. For those men who do not see their ex-girlfriends as part of their “conquered possessions”, old flames, old passions, old memories and the emergence of a little sense of mischief can make a weak man to want to continue from where he stopped.

Therefore, when next you, as a man, meet an ex-girlfriend, you just have to be on your guard. Remind yourself that the old man, the old you that had her as girlfriend is gone and that a new you, who is eternally committed to your wife, now rules over your sexual desire. Eph 4:22-24. Love you.For further counseling, call: 09098845521,07066579379 and 08065415059


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Charles Ighele
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