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Being Right For Each Other

By Kemi Amushan
18 April 2015   |   12:42 am
WHEN entering into a new relationship, a great way of predicting how long it will last is how we identify and deal with potentially negative issues, which could go out of hand, if voluntarily ignored.

KemiWHEN entering into a new relationship, a great way of predicting how long it will last is how we identify and deal with potentially negative issues, which could go out of hand, if voluntarily ignored.

There are many that are considered unique recipes for disaster, and truth be told, lots of failed couples would say, “if only they had listened to their hearts, instead of their bodies, lots of wasted time could have been saved.” But take comfort, because realistically, beginning and maintaining a healthy relationship simply involves common sense and listening to your gut instincts.

Most people define red flags as significant hurdles that never disappear. You can overlook them for a time, perhaps even years, but sooner than later, the damage they can inflict upon your mental and physical health is not worth the effort.

The time to spot and solve them though is during the dating process, because if they are a problem then, they will only worsen and grow as time ticks by.

Every person believes there are issues they can allow or not allow when looking for a potential mate. Simply stated, it all depends on an individual’s perception of reality, mental acceptance threshold, personality, self-esteem and self-respect. “What works for one, maybe, does not work for another.

To each, his own, and beauty is all in the eye of the beholder,” are all thoughts coming to mind. There are dozens of what everyone considers as red flags. But to narrow down our discussion, let us discuss a few. Religion Hmmm, that word has caused a lot of issues overtime.

I don’t know why though, but it is the one thing that separates individuals, groups and even countries.
But rational thought says that no matter your personal beliefs, things do run smoother if you can be with someone sharing your faith. Not to say it cannot work out, maybe you are Baptist and he is Catholic, but do yourself a favour and find that common ground.

Religion is also something that will play a part during holidays, family gatherings, and having kids. Politics Used to be, this was not a big deal, but the world has changed and people are more divided than ever. Before, religion was the “hot” topic everyone went to blows over.

Now, it is a lot of issues. And if you attend a party and hear the words GEJ, Buhari, Ambode, Tinubu, Agbaje and the likes of them, chances are the temperature in the room will start to rise.

So, if you are passionate about your political beliefs, do yourself a favour and discuss this with your significant other. If you are both entrenched in opposing viewpoints, this can oftentimes destroy intimacy, because political beliefs say a lot about an individual’s personality.

Social Media We are all on the web and more than likely, most of us have a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or other accounts where you connect regularly.

Knowing this, do yourself another favour and check out your significant other’s activities. Do they post nothing but “selfies,” are they posting constantly, do they engage in arguments, use lots of slang, tag you all the time, make you feel like everything you write is being repeated or questioned during personal conversations? If any of these is evident, just know that what is showing up inside a person’s life online, can also match them offline.

You should also be careful of stalkers, hackers and the likes, if they show other signs of having a controlling personality. Are They Introverts Or Extroverts? Watching a person’s daily habits and patterns always tells the tale.

If you are the type that likes staying in more than going out, texting and emailing, instead of calling, avoiding chit-chat whenever possible, oftentimes prefers the company of yourself, instead of other humans, and only allows a select few inside your inner circle, you will not be comfortable around someone who is the opposite.

However, letting an extrovert into your life could push you towards a better- balanced life. But if you are both at the far end of the social spectrum, cohabitation could be a constant grind. These are some major areas to be aware of, though there are many more to consider. To the loving and peaceful relationship we all deserve, good luck in life and love. Cheers!