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‘My ordeal as a single dad’–Julius OlaOluwa

By Guardian Nigeria
21 September 2022   |   12:34 am
Julius OlaOluwa also called Jovilius is a young energetic and industrious Nigerian who has created a nitch for himself in the hospitality industry. The Club executive (Club Mercy) who has toured the world looking for opportunities to invest back in Nigeria had a chat with our corespondents when he paid him a visit after his…

Julius OlaOluwa also called Jovilius is a young energetic and industrious Nigerian who has created a nitch for himself in the hospitality industry.

The Club executive (Club Mercy) who has toured the world looking for opportunities to invest back in Nigeria had a chat with our corespondents when he paid him a visit after his recent tour to Asia.

Julius, a single father narrated his ordeal and how he was left with his infant son to cater for right from his birth.

The role of a single dad is tough to handle, yet the feeling when you see a smile on your child’s face makes it all worth it.

It’s uncommon to see an African man giving his all to look after a child from birth as a single dad, this is what OlaOluwa has done singlehandedly with commendation coming from all angles.

Single fathers are left alone to deal with all the temper, tantrums, frustrations and sometimes even blame of not being a good parent. They lack a companion with who they can share their distress and their bittersweet moments. But they aren’t vociferous about it.

Lack of a companion to share their fears and feelings, leaves many single dads, with a doubt if they are doing the right thing. They sometimes, even give up to their demands of their children, even if it is wrong because they fear to hurt their children or to be the sole person to receive their children’s hatred.

According him, “Being a single parent means you have to try to be good at all kinds of things. You need to have a loving relationship with your children while setting boundaries. You need to budget on a limited income.

“You need to run a household in a practical sense – shop, put food on the table, housework. You need to be able to share your problems and worries but also grit your teeth and get on with things. You need to make big decisions on your own.

“Maybe that’s where being able to cross the gender divide helps with single dads needing to learn roles and tasks usually left to the mother – to be able to cook, wash up, clean the toilet; to be able to talk and listen to their kids; to talk to others about their doubts and anxieties; to admit they don’t have all the answers.

“With a positive attitude, willingness to learn and make mistakes, and with lots of luck, I think being a single parent can be a genuinely liberating experience. Crossing that gender gap is one of the main challenges of being a single parent. For me? I can cook, tidy, clean and run a household as well as anyone.

“I’ll seek advice and talk about problems. What I’ve struggled with is showing enough physical affection and emotional openness towards my son. I have to always return to Nigeria to babysit my son when I’m out of the country for business trips. My mind is always divided because I seldom relax without thinking about him. He has thought me to be a great personality and I’m always grateful about that,” he revealed.

Though it wasn’t easy for him to achieve all these, his decision to make his son happy and feel loved was what prompted his care, commitment and focus. “My son is my life, he made me a better person. Whatever I am today is because of him, I put him first before anything and anybody. And I hope other single dads would learn from my experience, “he concluded.

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