SOMETIMES we tend to get caught up in the wrong things to try to attract a man.

Men are definitely about the physical; you have to have their look for them to be attracted to you.

I have had to ask some guys I know what they were looking for in a woman, and the same thing was repeated over and over. Someone who looks after themselves. Someone who is confident, etc.

Not once did a guy say to me, someone “with a nice butt or boobs, great legs or tight butt.”

These were men that were paying money to find someone to have a serious relationship with and marry. Not just a quick hook up.

So, girls you can go out and try to change the outside. However, it is how you hold yourself and conduct yourself that is going to be the key.

How many times have we seen people spend tens of thousands of naira on plastic surgery, only to find they still did not get the feeling of confidence they were looking for?

It is important to remember that being confident and being up yourself are two entirely different things.

Trying to show off with what possessions you have or what you look like is not self-confidence. Confidence, as simply defined in the dictionary is: Belief in Oneself.

This can be obtained by having a look inward at your self and telling yourself the truth, rather than relying on things like plastic surgery, excessive drinking, buying and wearing designer clothes and handbag to give you confidence.

There is nothing wrong with doing these things if you already ‘believe in yourself’ enhancing what you have is fine.

However, do not rely on these things to give you confidence, because confidence needs to come from within. Nothing that you buy or do is going to give you true self-confidence.

You do not want someone who is only attracted to you when your confidence comes from excessive drinking of alcohol (it is unlikely they would be anyway) or by the expensive clothes you wear or the expensive car you drive.

What happens when the alcohol wears off or the money runs out? Are you going to feel confident if you are overweight? Do you need to lose a few pounds?

Before I get anyone angry about that statement, there is not a girl alive who is not more confident when she is at her ideal weight range, as opposed to being over it.

The first thing most girls say when they lose weight and get to their ideal weight is that they feel more confident.

If you want to gain more confidence, try these…

*Style and colour your hair, removing the greys, if this makes us feel younger.

*Wear make-up, even a touch of mascara, to go to the supermarket.

*Dress feminine to attract a man; men love feminine women.

*Smile a lot. It is the most important way to show confidence.

*Look at the positive side of things, no complaining.

*Ask some close friends and family five things they like about you, then compile your own list, write it down and repeat the list to yourself often.

It is easy to get caught up with the negatives, but it is a confidence boost to focus on what is awesome about us.

True confidence is within us all. Change your thinking and your confidence will grow. This is a skill that can be learnt.

Your Mr. Right is out there for you. Have the confidence and he will find you.