The weight nobody warned you about
Power is intoxicating. It glitters with applause, prestige, and influence. It seduces with corner offices, seven-figure packages, security convoys, and the ability to shape destinies with the flick of a pen. But buried beneath its shine lies a truth most leaders only discover when it’s too late: power extracts a price far greater than money.
A 2023 Deloitte survey of global executives revealed that 70% of senior leaders admit their stress levels are unsustainable, with nearly half reporting mental health challenges that remain unspoken at work. The World Health Organization estimates that workplace stress alone costs the global economy over $1 trillion annually in lost productivity.
You may know that already. Perhaps you wear the title—President, Governor, Senator, Honourable, Chairman, CEO, GMD, MD, Partner, Director, Director-General, C-Level Executive, Global Lead Pastor, Chief Imam—maybe more than one. You know the polished image you’re expected to present: decisive, commanding, inspiring. But when the lights dim and the crowd disperses, what remains?
The world reveres your decisions but ignores your doubts. Your victories are expected, but your failures make headlines. Your vulnerability is misread as weakness, so you bury it. And slowly, invisibly, your humanity erodes beneath the weight of your own title.
This is the price of power. And too many leaders are paying with their health, their peace, and their wholeness.
Every title carries a hidden invoice. And it’s rarely paid in cash.
Power rarely asks for payment in money. It collects its debt in other currencies:
• Sleepless Nights: Harvard Business Review found that 43% of executives report sleeping fewer than six hours a night.
• Decision Fatigue: Neuroscientists estimate that leaders make up to 35,000 decisions dailyeach one a withdrawal from mental clarity.
• Emotional Taxation: A Korn Ferry study shows that 66% of executives say their biggest challenge is managing the emotions of others while ignoring their own.
• Identity Blur: When the title consumes the name. Suddenly you’re not Kunle, Ngozi, or Musa. You’re only Governor, CEO, or Honourable.
And then there’s the grief no one prepares you for: missing your child’s graduation, attending a parent’s burial virtually, or realizing you no longer know what brings you joy outside the office.
I once coached a C-level Executive who said to me “Dr. Abiola Salami, everyone says I inspire them. But I can’t remember the last time I felt inspired myself.”
This C-level Executive was the youngest female executive at a Fortune 100 multinational. She is Nigerian-born, UK-educated, brilliant and well celebrated.
On paper, she was everything leadership promises. She managed billion-dollar portfolios, sat at the decision-making table with men twice her age, and represented her company on global panels.
But in private, she was drowning.
She battled imposter syndrome in boardrooms where her every word was dissected. She worked sixteen-hour days, carrying not just profit margins but the invisible weight of gender politics and accent bias. Weekends blurred into workdays. Her body revolted with migraines, ulcers, and exhaustion.
Her relationships crumbled.
One Sunday morning, staring at her ceiling, she whispered:
“Is this what I sacrificed my 40s for?”
When she reached out for coaching, it wasn’t to accelerate her performance. It was to survive.Once she allowed herself to be human again, based on our work together, she didn’t shrink, she soared. She restructured her time, delegated boldly, rebuilt her health and rediscovered joy.
Her story is echoed in countless leaders across Africa and the globe: the high-achieving executive who looks unstoppable on the outside but is quietly unraveling on the inside.
There Are Three Hidden Costs of Leadership
1. Emotional Taxation
The mental load of always being “on.” You’re the rock for your team, the fixer for your board, the symbol for your nation. But rocks crack too.
The American Institute of Stress notes that 80% of executives report work as their primary stressor.
2. Identity Blur
Your title swallows your name. Your sense of self reduces to metrics, votes, or quarterly performance.
A 2022 Gallup study shows that two-thirds of leaders admit they’ve lost touch with who they are outside of work.
Leadership will always cost something. The real question is: will it cost your wholenessor can you learn to lead without losing yourself?
That’s what I help leaders reclaim. Across Africa, Europe, the Americas, and beyond, I coach CEOs, Heads of Government Agencies, Political Leaders and Spiritual leaders not just to performbut to breathe again.
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About Dr. Abiola Salami
Dr. Abiola Salami is the Convener of Dr Abiola Salami International Leadership Bootcamp ; The Peak PerformerTM FestivalMade4More Accelerator Program and The New Year Kickoff Summit. He is the Principal Performance Strategist at CHAMP – a full scale professional services firm trusted by high performing business leaders for providing Executive Coaching, Workforce Development & Advisory Services to improve performance. You can reach his team on [email protected] and connect with him @abiolachamp on all social media platforms.
Email me directly [email protected] or
Send a confidential message via WhatsApp 08188881957 to begin your private Executive Coaching Session.
