Bullying is an age-long issue that has continued to haunt primary and secondary educational institutions. The recent case at Lead British International School reminds us that bullying not only affects the victims, but also the perpetrators themselves.
When aggressive behaviours are not properly managed when they first appear on a small scale, they could interfere with the perpetrator’s all-round growth, and hinder them from effective learning, holding down a job and building a career, and even establishing and maintaining relationships.
Psychologists trace the root cause of bullies perpetrating aggressive behaviour to several factors including personal insecurities, being past victims of bullying themselves, or an unhealthy desire to force an imbalance of power among colleagues. What roles can parents play in tackling this menace before it results in larger-scale problems?
The first step is always dialogue. Many children find it hard to express themselves to their parents, let alone anyone when they are being bullied at school. It is important to always keep the lines of communication open, and ensure your child feels safe around you.
Encourage your child to always speak up about their experiences at school, church, and other encounters they have with their peers. Be sure to listen to the things they say, and more importantly to the things they don’t say – always pay close attention to unusual changes in your ward’s mood and act accordingly. Always validate their emotions and view things from their standpoint. Avoid criticising them, and focus on holding productive conversations that seek to address the underlying issues.
Always make efforts to boost the self-esteem of your ward. Lack of esteem could make your ward appear as ‘easy prey’ to bullies, and from the perpetrator’s angle, low esteem could make individuals take out the displeasure they feel within themselves in the form of unnecessary agitation towards the people around them. Ensure you strive to make your ward feel loved, and ‘enough’ – help them to always have a positive perception about themselves, to prevent them from seeking validation from the wrong sources or vices.
Tackling the menace of bullying effectively requires a collaborative effort from parents, guardians, and teachers. Stay involved in school events, such as the Parents-Teachers Association Meetings; brainstorm with other parents on ways to tackle not just bullying, but other issues affecting the qualitative academic experience of your ward.
Work with the administrative staff in your ward’s school to see that measures are put in place to combat cases of bullying amongst students in all forms.
Finally, ensure you are always a role model for your ward. Some children manifest bullying amongst their peers, due to being exposed to aggravated behaviour among their parents and guardians – sexual and gender-based violence and use of abusive words in conversations. Be sure you always set the right example for your child at home and be the kind of person you want to see them.
