We all seem to celebrate success and want to be associated with it, but then there is a road to success that may never have been rosy. This is something a lot of people don’t talk about, hence it is important to instil this in your children early to help them grow and attain set goals.
Although failure is usually perceived to be the result of lack of competence to achieve one’s goals, accepting failure is a hard and daunting task. This is because it puts one in a negative light, and brings unpleasant feelings and of course, no one wants to be associated with failure.
This could also lead to the development of negative feelings such as disappointment and frustration, which could breed more difficulty in finding courage to start all over again.
As a parent, when your child is going through hardship, it stirs panic and anxiety. We may find it difficult to cope with the issues ourselves, let alone allow him or her to go through the discomfort. With an effort to safeguard his/her interests, we end up taking away the valuable opportunity of teaching him or her to learn from their mistakes by stepping out of their comfort zone.
Hence, parents must teach their children to accept vulnerability and also speak openly about their inner feelings. This way, they are able to cope with small failures rather than ignore them. This attitude helps build resilience and allows them to convert letdowns into achievements.
Parents should also avoid protecting their children from experiencing low-risk natural consequences. For instance, if your child does not submit homework on time, don’t take his/her stand or defend him or her, rather let him or her deal with the consequences. Allowing children to practise such outcomes imparts in them the control of their decisions and actions.
Also, help your child see failures as a chance to grow and learn. Talk to them about their mistakes and help them discover ways to do it differently so that they develop a growth mindset.
Help your child understand that it is okay to sense unpleasant and negative emotions that come with failure. He or she should know that the only thing he or she needs to do is bounce back and face challenges so that he/she does not give up easily at the time of hardship.
While it is absolutely important to praise and acknowledge your child’s effort having completed a certain task, it is worthy to note that parents should not engage in giving false praises when the child hasn’t done anything yet. This will not only lead to unnecessary overconfidence but also teach your child to rightly earn virtues.
Parents must ensure their children understand that failure is only a first attempt in learning. We must provide them with tools to reflect, review and rise again. We must share our own stories with them and tell them it is okay to fail and experience disappointing moments but strive harder to achieve their goals. This will help them celebrate every small win and believe in themselves.
