I have been married to my husband for more than five years. At first my parents were skeptical as he was from another state (Eastern part, while I am from the Western part of Nigeria) but agreed because I convinced them as I was very much in love with him. In the beginning when we were only engaged because we dated for barely five months, his mother was okay with us going out together probably because she was afraid that we were still not married and if she behaved oddly I might walk away. But since I have been married, there have been constant fights between the two of us as we crave for his attention and I am not treated like a respectable wife. Not only that; my husband at times spends more time with the mother. At a point I realized that the mother wants to be dictating how our marriage should be handled, and virtually every little thing that happens between I and my husband she gets to know because my husband would tell her. But it hurts me so much he never supports me in any of our fights and always believes I am wrong and doesn’t stand by me.

I am surprised at how the man that loved me so much would certainly change. He later comes up to me to say I should ignore her but this really doesn’t help the way I feel. I feel like a slave as I have nobody to count on. It brings tears to my eyes that I am going to die alone. I sometimes feel like giving up my life or more so do something funny but think about my son and worry what his future would be like if I do that. I feel so depressed and tearful. There is nothing to look forward to.

Recently, I had to get my parents involved to speak to my in-laws about not treating me like I’m an outsider in their house because I was so helpless and my husband was just turning deaf ears to what I was saying just because it was about complaining against his family. But my husband and his mother started accusing my family of interfering in his family matters. My parents are hurt that my husband thinks this way about them when they look at him like their own son. We live with my mother-in-law so there is no running away from this bitter truth. I am alone in a crowd. I’m helpless and just want to die as that feels easier than living with disrespect for the rest of my life.

Hope God finds a way out for me and my little one. Hope someday my husband realizes that his true family should be me and my feelings. I would never want him to hurt his mother and would not look after her but he gives her the attention one gives his wife. She sometimes doesn’t like me being alone with him. He sleeps in her room and says he needs sleep and the baby wakes him at night. But how long can I live alone like this? He is unable to understand me and has asked me to stay away from him till I start following what he asks me to do and follow his mom’s commands. I’m deeply hurt by his comments and wonder whether getting married in a hurry was a wrong decision. I pray God listens to my prayers and helps me soon.
Please I need help comments from whoever has had similar experience and advice. Thanks
– Biola
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