My husband is a very shy person, a private man, so much so that he did not know how to approach me to tell me that he liked me initially. He had to get the support of his eldest sister, Mrs Edith Iloh, to speak for him. At the time, we all attended the same church after the Civil War.
Things seemed quite bleak back then, as most people lost everything to the war and had to rebuild from scratch. As such, the church was a source of succour and hope for many who turned to God for help.
It was there we met. His eldest sister liked me so much, and she told me her brother was interested in me. I was quite surprised, wondering which of her six brothers liked me. When she said, “The one who works in the bank,” I replied, “Okay, we’ll talk about it,” and moved on. I had plans to travel to the United Kingdom to further my studies, which I still did before later returning to Nigeria.
The first time we spoke, I wasn’t impressed. I felt he was arrogant, perhaps because of his family background. Even at fellowship meetings, I often wondered, “What is wrong with this young man? Why is he all over the place as if he’s the only one?” Now, I laugh at those thoughts because I love him so dearly. Sometimes, ladies feel an initial irritation toward men, but those feelings gave way to deeper love and appreciation for the great man he is.
The turning point came when I was deciding on who to marry. I had many suitors, but I told myself it was better to marry a servant of God. So, I decided it would be Bishop Mike or no one else, because he was already in ministry.
Even his relatives thought I was crazy for choosing him because he became a Pentecostal pastor at a time when it was not fashionable. Back then, success in ministry was more assured through seminary training as a priest. But I saw beyond the physical.
Though he had amazing prospects, he left his well-paying job at the now-defunct African Continental Bank because of God’s call. I was not fazed. Many women choose based on what they see outwardly, but I knew there had to be something deeper.
I am not saying those things are not important, but when choosing a life partner, there must be more than what the eyes can see. Otherwise, you risk making the wrong decision.
Even while abroad, when people tried to dissuade me, I told them my mind was made up. I remember coming home twice at different times, but my husband had nothing to give me, not even a penny, and I honestly did not mind. I knew he was what I wanted and that, somehow, God would make it good.
Now, with the way he is and where God has taken him, there is nothing he cannot give me because I was there when he had nothing.
Truly, he is God’s gift to me. After Jesus Christ, it is Bishop Mike Okonkwo. I honestly don’t know how my life would have turned out if God hadn’t brought us together. The woman you see today is thanks to God and to him. He has been and continues to be a blessing to me. I love him dearly.
My husband is a man of many parts: good-natured, kind-hearted, loving, and God-fearing. He is a man with a very good heart. Most people see his passion on the pulpit and think him aggressive, but at home, he is private, introverted, shy, peaceful, and easy-going. He is loyal to a fault; once he loves you, he is committed and will defend you as long as you are doing the right thing. He stands for the truth and will always defend it.
Bishop Mike is known as a man of integrity throughout the country and across the world by people of different walks of life and faith. With him, what you see is what you get — no pretences. If he believes in a cause, he pursues it with all his being — body, soul and spirit. He does everything with passion. He says this all the time: “If you want to live, live, and if you want to die, die,” meaning that if you desire to do anything, then, you must go for it completely.
Also, Bishop is a family man; he is very homely and domesticated. He is extremely detailed and organised. If you give him anything to read, he will take note of every sentence, word, spelling, and make corrections where there are errors. You might be surprised to hear this, but Bishop is a really good cook. He even taught me to cook some things in the past. Coming from a family of nine children (six boys and three girls), I honestly don’t know how he learnt to cook so well, even down to vegetable soups.
He is also a lover of good music, with an ear for quality that has rubbed off on me. Bishop Mike is also very funny, with a hearty laughter that can make anyone laugh. If you play board games and he starts winning, just resign, because he will laugh and play so much you’ll give up.
Bishop is quite interesting to be with; we enjoy each other’s company and are very good friends, even as husband and wife. We enjoy watching movies and football together. I am a football lover, and my love for tennis also influenced him. Now, we follow the tennis tour religiously, with all the players and tournaments.
Our lives have been nothing short of God’s faithfulness and mercies. From our vows on July 5, 1980 till now, He has shown Himself faithful. Life with Bishop Mike has been fulfilling, though not without its challenges. Like every couple, you need patience to appreciate the uniqueness of your spouse. Without love, respect, understanding, and patience, no marriage can thrive. Being a pastor does not exempt one from the challenges of marriage. God’s prescription works only if applied, not because you are anointed. That is a message for married couples and singles alike.
One of the highlights of our marriage has been doing ministry together. In fact, the week after our wedding, he had to travel to the Morris Cerullo School of Ministry in the United States for six months. Looking back, seeing what God has accomplished through us, we can only give thanks.
I love you, Nna’m.
Happy 80th Birthday!
