Nigerian celebrities and marriages gone awry

Nigerian music star, Dr Sid, and his estranged wife, Simi, got married in 2014 in one of the most talked-about celebrity weddings. They welcomed their first daughter and a second one a few years later. Then trouble started in their marriage.

In January 2020, Simi took to her Instagram page where she announced that their marriage was over.

Osas Ighodaro and Gbenro Ajibade met onset of a TV show and got married afterwards to fans and industry’s delight. The couple’s wedding ceremony was so huge, that it was televised on live TV.

In February 2019, fans and followers of Osas and Gbenro woke up to a rather strange post from the latter. He had in his post called out Osas over her parenting style. It was clear that they were separated at that time.

A few months later, Osas took down Gbenro’s name from her Instagram handle. After several months in the United States of America, Gbenro marked his return to Nigeria with an interview on Rubbin Minds in December where he confirmed that they are divorced.

While divorce is incredibly difficult for anyone, celebrity divorces are played out in public, meaning that fans knew about all the cheating scandals, custody agreements, settlement payouts, and other general messiness. When exes trashed each other in the press, they read every word.

POPULAR Nollywood actor, Bolanle Ninalowo, and his wife, Bunmi, recently ended their 17-year-old marriage. Sharing the news on his Instagram page, he said the split was for the best of everyone involved.

Fans were left speechless when news filtered in that the 17-year-old marriage of popular Nollywood actor, Bolanle Ninalowo, and his wife, Bunmi, had ended.

Ninalowo shared the sad news via his Instagram page on Friday, adding that the split was for the best of everyone involved.

This won’t be the first time the couple would be making headlines for their relationship hitting the rocks.

In 2017, the actor in an interview with Genevieve Magazine confirmed that after 12 years together then, he and his wife had decided to end things. They, however, reunited in 2018.

Nigerian artiste Adebayo Adeleke aka BRed’s marriage to wife, Faith Johnson, hit the rocks in 2023 amid allegations of abuse and infidelity. Not only has the estranged couple, who share a son, Adetayo Oshioke Adeleke, born in 2019, unfollowed each other on Instagram, they have turned social media as their battleground.

Lagos socialite, Farida Sobowale made the news when her attempt to commit suicide surfaced online. This was following the crash of her two-month-old marriage to her now-estranged husband, Demola Odulaja. Odulaja, in an interview claimed Sobowale’s promiscuous way, was the reason the marriage ended.

Davido’s logistic manager, Israel Afeare, known as Israel DMW, marriage to his wife, Sheila, has also crashed, barely a year after their lavish wedding.

While there have been rumours of the marriage crash, it was further confirmed after Israel DMW posted a picture of his wife on their anniversary where she came under fire slamming him online.

Yoruba actor and producer, Yomi Alore, aka Yomi Gold, also announced the end of his second marriage to his wife, Meenah, this year. Yomi Gold took responsibility for the split, while tagging his wife, a ‘good person.’

Omotayo, the wife of on-air-personality, Kayode Oladotun, popularly known as Do2dtun, filed for divorce over alleged forced abortion, domestic violence and emotional abuse. Married in 2013, the couple had two children together.

Nollywood actress, Ireti Doyle, in an exclusive interview with media personality, Chude Jideonwo, announced her divorce from famous actor Patrick Doyle. While denying claims that she had her first child at 17, she informed it was at age 19 and she had no business marrying at that age. “The truth of the matter is that I had no business being married at that time.”

For Nollywood’s Funke Akindele and songwriter and record producer, Abdulrasheed Bello, known as JJC Skills, called it a quite after six years of marriage. And barely eight months after making it official via his Instagram handle, he remarried.

Popular comedian, Julius Agwu, also confirmed that his marriage to his wife, Ibiere, had crashed amid allegations of cheating on the part of Agwu.

Paul and Anita Okoye’s marriage of eight years was dissolved in an Abuja court, following Anita’s heavy allegations against her husband Paul, which include infidelity, fraud, being an absent parent, amongst others. While Nollywood actor and former Big Brother Naija housemate, Gideon Okeke, also separated from his wife Chidera, after four years of marriage.

Okeke made the announcement on his Instagram page via his Insta stories, although troubles in their marriage had surfaced earlier in August, 2022. Okeke said it was a hard pill to swallow and urged fans to respect their privacy at the time.

The list of crashed celebrity marriages is long and continues to grow by the day. There are many reasons for celebrity breakups. In the scorching follow-up to The World is Full of Married Men, Jackie Collins weaves an incredible story of infidelity, sin, and deliciously sweet revenge as reason for breakup!

Owing to the rate at which they hit the rocks, celebrity marriages in Nigeria have remained a hot topic among many. Although some have continued to thrive, others have sadly ended, leaving fans in shock.

Celebrity status doesn’t shield individuals
These failed marriages are pointers to the fact that celebrity status doesn’t shield individuals from the same issues that affect ordinary people. In many cases, it amplifies them.

A matchmaker and United States certified dating coach, Didi Edet, said, “people get married for various reasons, some of which are to signify a long-term commitment, or to have a mental source of security in the relationship, for children or to make a home, to make a public declaration of their commitment, some even do it as a poverty alleviation scheme and some for legal status.”

She noted that there are no recurring requests from those who require her services, which she considers significant, as there is no one size fits all. “People come looking for various things; some are focused on a certain age group, some may want someone that is a single parent like them, some people want someone from certain tribe, some people are particular about a person zodiac sign, so people ask for different things.

“There is no way to ensure a relationship is paired right if you use the term paired right to mean the marriage lasts forever. We are not a fortune telling platform so we cannot see into the future to see what your relationship would end up like. What we do instead is allow people to go by what they want. People choose who they want to be with, who makes them happy, who brings out the best in them, and then go ahead to be in a relationship with this person.”

On the possibility of sensing a marriage will last longer, Edet said, “some people feel that you need to have a long courtship for a relationship to last but I have seen relationships where the party met each other and married after three months and the marriage last for years and I’ve seen relationships where they knew each other for years from secondary school but did not last one year into marriage so it’s hard to look at a relationship and be able to tell if it’ll work out or not.”

She added that to avert failed marriages, both parties have to decide that their marriage will work because they are able to come back from any arguments or disagreements, knowing that they are both together in the union, “seeing a marriage counselor may also help save failing marriages.”

Marriage counsellor, Mrs. Esther Ameh, noted that the key role of marriage counseling classes or what some call intending couples’ classes is to prepare couples before marriage.

“Since marriage is the only institution where the couple get a certificate even before they enter into it, marriage counseling classes prepare them ahead of time by taking them through courses that run through love, health, handling of conflicts, sex, separation and divorce – this particular one is not to ask them to enter into it.

“It is actually to help them to guard against it. It exposes them to several areas, even trying to unteach them about wrong reasons for marriage that is if they have some ulterior motives for marriage. It is very important and it is highly recommended for any couple that is venturing into marriage.”

She also noted, “I will advise any couple considering divorce to first separate. They should consider separation, not divorce, especially in cases where they have strong reasons like threat to life, abuse in any form. Especially when there are children to take care of, so, rather than just severing it outrightly, they should go for separation while taking care of their children and living their lives, because for me there is life aside marriage.

“God didn’t just create us for only marriage, there are things that we are still to achieve, there are still purposes affecting lives, so whenever a couple sees that it is not working, especially when there is serious threat on their lives, they should separate.”

While noting that the Church does not really come out to recommend a divorce, she sighted Malachi 2:16 as a verse, where the Bible speaks against divorce.

“God was saying that he hates putting away, and what is that putting away? That is divorce.

“So, no church will come out and tell a couple to go and get a divorce. They may recommend separation, especially when there are cases of physical assault or threat to life, but the church will never recommend threatening legal actions and filing a divorce. They may recommend separation, so that the people involved will stay alive and take care of their children and siblings, and live their lives.”

Speaking on signs that show a marriage cannot work, Ameh said, “we cannot just make a conclusive statement and say this sign or that sign when seen, will make a marriage fail. Yes, there are red flags that one should watch out for, even in courtship, but I want to say that if the couples who are involved prepare their hearts and decide that it will work, then it will definitely work.

“Marriage is all about sacrifice, adjustment, love, and the two focusing on one goal to see that it works. So, the only thing that we point out here is that if there is any threat to life, violence, abuse, then these are the real signs that this will not work, because, you are much better alive than dead. Nobody ever wants to die just because of marriage. Some of the signs that we may see as such that will make a marriage not work can actually be worked on. The only one that cannot be worked on is when there is abuse in all its categories including physical beating.”

Advising young people on steps to take before settling down, she said, “marriage is also a spiritual contract, because when the Bible says that two shall become one, it is not a joke, it is spiritual. They have to actually prepare themselves spiritually to know what they are entering into. They also have to prepare themselves emotionally. It is not just a case of ‘I love you’ or an emotional thing, as our emotions come in, but you have to brace up yourself for what is coming. Because, when we talk about love, it is all about selflessness. A decision to focus on the other person’s wellbeing. They have to prepare themselves financially – Marriage comes with different kinds of expenses.”

She stressed that while intending couples have to be prepared financially; there should be a source of livelihood before you begin to consider settling down.

“You also have to prepare yourself socially; when you marry your wife or your husband, the in-laws come into play, siblings of the other spouse come into play. It is a whole kind of social network. You can’t say you want to be married, and all you want to think of is do your things your own way or just stay alone, because the very essence of marriage is companionship, which comes with a baggage of a kind of social network that will bring in in-laws, siblings and all manner of connections.”

For psychologist, Dr. Victoria Daaor, who identified marital stress as a major factor, she said it affects many other things including, libido. “The consequent effect of quarrels, unresolved issues and others can lead to a lack of desire for sex with the partner. In severe cases, even after it seems the issues have been resolved the desire does not seem to return. This increases the stress and further creates more problems. For the woman it could lead to frigidity and the man may begin extramarital affairs.

“This frustration could lead to pent up anger which makes both parties aggressive and unresponsive in other areas of work and family life. It could lead to one seeking peace and emotional support from other sources with its attendant problems. Marital stress can lead to other health problems like high blood pressure, migraines and other psycho somatic issues. Children feel neglected and sometimes confused as to how to help. In some cases they actually begin to think they are a cause of the problem and this affects many things including interpersonal relationships with other children, performance in school, relationship with even the parents. Some become withdrawn and find solace in the social media, drugs or other social vices.

“Marital stress if unresolved could lead to divorce or spew ration and as we see more recently, death of one or both spouses through violence. It affects the very fabric of society by disintegrating the smallest unit of the society and this eventually leads to a society full of unhappy people. It destroys trust in marriages and leads to a troubled society.”

ANOTHER psychologist, Eunice Nwigwe said that marital distress is usually a state of dissatisfaction in a marriage characterised by distrust and/or misunderstanding. In most cases, it is caused by poor communication. The Psychological effects of marital distress are numerous some of which can negatively impact the physical and mental health of married couples.

“Marital distress could lead to mental health issues like anxiety, apprehension and depression. This is one of the leading causes of unproductivity in the workplace. Studies have established that children who are exposed to marital distress and tension are most likely to have emotional and behavioural problems. Toxic or unstable marriages tend to adversely affect the emotional and psychological balance of the products of the marriage. This could create trauma that builds up in the children and could affect their behavioural pattern as adults if not professionally dealt with.”