Queen Blessing Ebigieson is the founder and President of Queen Blessing Foundation, an initiative she is using to give succour to the downtrodden, especially widows. She is also the National President of Association of Movie Producers (AMP) in Nigeria. In this interview with GERALDINE AKUTU, she talks about her foundation and its upcoming Valentine Special event for widows and elderly women.
Why is your foundation focusing on widows and elderly women?
The reason the foundation is focused on widows and elderly women is because they are the most vulnerable in our society most of the time. According to the widows we have interacted with, some men don’t let their wives work. That is the information we get each time we ask widows that cannot afford to train their children or even feed them why they didn’t work when their husbands were still alive. If they had a job they were doing when the men were still alive, they wouldn’t have fallen to ground zero when they died. Even if things are going to shake, it will be a little and not as bad as not being able to feed.
’m able to gather a lot of women in one place to educate them on why it’s important to be independent because if you educate them, they will in turn go home and educate their own children. That way, we will not have a lot of handicapped widows hanging around when they lose their husbands.
I have been doing this through the foundation for many years now. The Queen Blessing Foundation is over 15 years old and the widow’s programme we are planning is the ninth edition. It’s supposed to have been the 12th edition but because we don’t do the programme during election periods. So, it wasn’t done in 2015, 2019 and 2023; that is why it is in the ninth edition now and it’s a calling. God asked me to go home, feed and clothe widows in my village. When I did that in 2013, I felt so happy and fulfilled because of the positive response I got from the widows. They shed tears of joy and some of them said they had never heard anything about Valentine before. Some of them also said they had not had a new wrapper since their husbands passed away. I thought to myself that I have a lot of clothes I don’t even wear. So, I decided I was going to continue hosting the widows and aged women yearly.
In 2014, we did it in Lagos; in 2016 we did it in Abuja/Suleja; in 2017 we repeated it in Edo State in Afemai land and that consists of six local councils – Estako East, Estako central, Owen West and so on. In 2018, we celebrated the wives and mothers of our military fallen heroes. In 2020, we did the programme in the palace of the Ooni of Ife in Ile Ife. In 2021, we did it in Ibadan, Oyo State, at the palace of the Olubadan of Ibadan land and in 2022 we did it in Zaria at the palace of the Emir of Zazzau in Kaduna State.
So, it’s been like a roller coaster. Basically, widows are the most vulnerable in our society and that’s why we focus on them. But I use my birthday to also celebrate the orphans and I don’t make noise about that. I just go to an orphanage, collect the list of the things they need, buy what I can afford, donate and take pictures with them to make them happy. I spend my whole day with them, cut my cake with them and off I go. So, it’s safe to say we also take care of orphans as well but the widow’s programme is the one I celebrate because we do it like a complete party with music, dance, present gifts and all of that.
You are gearing up for the QBF Valentine Special, which is now in its ninth edition. Can you talk about that?
This year’s edition promises to be more fun and interesting. Queen Blessing Foundation is hosting a thousand widows and aged women in Afemai land, Edo State on Valentine Day, February 14, 2024. Our core mission is to improve the lives of the less privileged in society especially widows as well elderly women.
What has sustained the QBF this far?
The foundation is funded 80 to 100 per cent at times by me. I fund it 80 per cent when I get donations from our patrons and matrons. Some of our patrons are Mr. Jimi Agbaje, Prof. Pat Utomi, Apostle Johnson Suleiman, Bishop Idahosa, Prof. Azeez Butali, Commodore Duja Emmanuel Effedua rtd, etc. Our matrons include Mrs. Tana Adelana, Mrs. Chinyere Ozo, Mrs. Bose Owugbu, Chinyere Nwabueze, Mrs. Amidat Ilegar Austin to mention a few. Sometimes, my online fans who have never met me send their widow’s might because they believe in my vision. This year has been very tough because we have not had any donation coming but we believe God that people would donate to ease my stress because as it is right now, I’ve applied for a soft loan from my bank to enable me fund the projects. Most of the time, I spend around N7 million or more to host the programme yearly. But because of the way things have changed, I’m going to be spending above N10 million to host it this year. I feel discouraged and almost forced myself to say I don’t want to do it this year but my spirit is not letting me. I’m moving ahead and believing God that things will turn around for the better beyond my expectations.
What can the government do to support initiatives like this in the country?
The government through the office of the Humanitarian Minister can help widows by making sure they create a certain amount that should go to Non-governmental Organisations (NGOs) that have been tested and trusted over the years. Queen Blessing Foundation is one of such credible NGOs. We have written letters to this particular ministry on several occasions but they never replied to us and when they say they do programmes, I wonder which programme they are talking about. Basically, the government should just try to be more open and support initiatives like this. I’ve been tested and trusted. We can be used to reach out to these people because we know how to get these genuine vulnerable widows. I think that will help a lot. In our little way we still give them some grants to start businesses to keep up with their bills, feed their children and so on. Private organisations can also make donations either in cash or kind. It will go a long way. We have written to a couple of companies to make donations of materials for us or even edible things but we never get replies from them. It’s almost like somebody takes these letters and just throws them in the toilet or just puts them somewhere. But we are not giving up; we will continue to do our best.
How would you describe the impact of the work of the foundation on the lives of widows and elderly women in the country?
Through our programmes, the QBF has touched and impacted the lives of women tremendously. The foundation is putting smiles on the faces of widows and elderly women. I feel fulfilled when I see the joy on these women’s faces. We make them very happy on that day and in the long run. It’s a big celebration like Christmas for them. We have witnessed so many testimonies after our programmes and most of them shed tears and express excitement at the same time. We bring people to talk to them, empower them and advise them. We also teach them how to turn little cash into plenty of money. We also teach them how to cut down on spending and imbibe the culture of saving. You know, little drops make a mighty ocean. We educate them on the way they should raise their female children, most especially raising them to become very independent with good morals and values. The benefits are just too much to mention. It has really been an exciting experience and an amazing blessing when I get feedback from these great women that they are doing better than before and training their children after QBF supported them with some cash to start their businesses. From the little money that was given to them to start up, they made good use of it and grew their businesses. I get a lot of inbox messages from people testifying of the laudable things we are doing. I drop my contact and some of them seek advice from me on different issues. So, QBF is touching lives positively and hopes to do more. We are serving humanity.
What advice do you have for women going through one challenge or the other?
My advice is for women to constantly try to be independent. No matter how rich the man you marry is, try your best to have your own money. You are not trying to be independent to rub shoulders with your man. You are not trying to be independent to become the head of the family; your money is your money.
The man’s money is your money (laughs). When a man that doesn’t allow his wife to work looks at it from my own perspective, he will understand that when the wife has her own money, God forbid anything should happen to him, the woman will cover up for the family pending when the man gets back on his feet. Nobody will know what they are going through. But if the wife does not have any money, when things become bad for the man, then he becomes frustrated because she will still ask for food for the children and all of that. Then he will start going to friends to beg here and there. Later sadness and anger will set in and that kind of situation is not nice at all. That is why you see some marriages are failing today because the man is constantly the only one providing. I give thumbs up to our resilient Nigerian women who are trying their best to be financially independent. Most of us are really trying to be independent but I believe that we can do more and raise our children better. We should stop raising our daughters to believe that it ends in marriage. We need to change that mindset that immediately when you grow up and get married the man takes over all your responsibilities and that of your family. That is so wrong. As you are raising the boys, raise your daughters the same way. Let them know that they need to work because they have two hands too. God gave the boys two hands and gave the girls two hands as well. There is no way God would have given us (women) two hands if he was not intending that we are also supposed to bring something to the table. So, I don’t believe a woman should be handicapped; I believe a woman should be independent.
We should make our money and be able to contribute in every aspect of life be it in marriage, at the workplace or whatever. So, my advice is don’t think that somebody will come and provide for you because that person might want to provide for you at all times but what if death comes and takes that person away? Then you will become stranded. This is the case with many widows today.
There is no excuse for not working. You can do something and still be where your husband can see you if he’s the jealous type. I mean, why marry a man that will not let you work? A woman should spell it out from the beginning before settling down that she’s going to work and not going to stay at home. Women should be more independent. It’s very important in today’s world.
