It must be noted that Johann Pestalozzi, the Swiss educationist, was not only addressing the Swiss, but the whole world, including Africans, when he said: Man must search for what is right and let happiness come on its own.”
It may be the search for what was right that made most traditional African societies in the past adopt matchmaking and wife inheritance, as part of their culture. This, perhaps, was to check licentiousness among the people and to direct right conduct among the various communities.
Though these age-long practices have their pros and cons, it must, however, be noted that their negative impact far outweigh the good they are intended to achieve.
Owing to this, most people now frown at this culture, saying such practices are no longer relevant to the present age, where a suitor now chooses whom he or she wants to marry and may also decide to remain single at the death of the wife or husband if he or she wants.
The OnePlay House recently presented a play titled, “Oh, How Dearly I Detest Thee, to bring these old African culture to the front burner, thus, shedding light on reasons those still practising them should desist from it, as the world is fast changing.
Written by Jeanne Ngo Libondo, the play, which is set in Douala, a Camerounian community, tells the story of a couple forced into arranged marriage by their parents. Three years after marriage, the couple, Tambe (Alex Jelili) and Ako (Ronke Philips), remains strange bedmates, as both stick to their guns and unable to settle their differences and consummate their marriage.
Ako tells Tambe to his face how dearly she detests him. She taunts her husband with his impotence and refuses to obey every instruction he gives. She challenges him on every count, even with doing little chores like tidying the walls of their sitting room. Ako wishes the marriage never exists and even threatens to poison her husband, as a way of breaking loose from the prison she calls marriage.
While the woman cries over her husband’s inability to make her a mother, raining curses on him; Tambe, desirous of peace in his home, stomachs all the insults. Though, most times, he reacts to the wifes barbs. He also blackmails her with poison. He agonises over his inability to sleep with his wife, lest makes her pregnant.
While Tambe lives with his fears, he never wants the public, not even his family members, to know he is impotent. He rather projects Ako as a troublemaker who needs to be avoided for peace to reign.
As the double standard goes on, the unexpected happens; Tambe dies in an auto crash.
At first, the news brings shock to Ako; shock for losing someone she has lived with for three years. But the shock soon turns to sorrow when the head of the emissary that brings the ill news, a traditional chief, begins to make advances at her, while the pains of her husband passing is still fresh. He reminds Ako of how either of the siblings of her late husband Solomon (Olufemi Ajiri) or Benjamin (Akinbo Oduyeye) would inherit her as wife else she would be ostracised if she refuses.
This troubles her, as she cannot imagine being treated like a property. More so, the options are just not the right set of people to choose from as husband.
She imagines the shame she would face if she reveals she has been living with her late husband as a virgin a married virgin! She kills herself instead.
Written in the 1970s as a radio drama, the play is still topical, especially as some African communities still hold tightly to the culture of wife inheritance, matchmaking with little regard to those involved, especially the girl-child.
With a fantastic storyline, the cast, especially Ako was at her best in interpreting the play. In fact, her acting: body movement, tonal inflexion and gestures explain the pains women pass through when they are denied the joy of marital conjugation. Her tears, self-fumbling and wishful ogling at men reflect some of the pains and sorrows she undergoes.
Though, there is no particular way to end conflicts in a play, using suicide appears a simplistic solution to the issue. Ako, an educated lady, should have, with her high school education, made a difference in her community by crying out to the world of the humiliation women in Douala were facing.
She had education at a time a few women had it and those that were privileged to have it really made use of it. From this standpoint, the play projects the African woman as docile and being unable to fight for their rights.
The storyline also silenced the roles of some females family groups that often monitor such matchmaking marriage to know when things go wrong. These group of people stand as counselors and mediate in marital situations.
Again the story presents the traditional African society as being individualistic, whereas in the true sense, it is a communal one all for all, none for him or herself. Despite this, Africans are known to be their brothers’ keepers. Knowing this, Ako should have gone back to her parents to explain her husbands predicament and a solution would be sought. Keeping the issue hidden from her people is not a true representation of the African society, where couples are expected to bring forth children as soon as they get married.
Apart from effectively managing space, the director, Tunji Olamide, puts his creativity to the task by using light and music to reflect the moody periods of Ako. These add effects, such that raised emotions and drew sympathy for Ako. Some members of the audience whimpered as the play rounds off.
