It’s the beginning of a new school term and if your child is still struggling to get back on ‘track’, you will definitely feel concerned as a parent. It is almost inevitable to deal with a child who is reluctant to go to school at some point. Most parents react by yelling at the child or denying him/her what he/she cherishes.
For the Director of Education, Elibel International School, Mrs. Adebukola Agbaje, a proper approach to identify the problem is to study and check the child’s history. Has the child always been willing or unwilling to go to school? Has that been the trend for that child? Was there a break/holiday from school at a point? Answering these questions will lead to the identification of the problem, she said.
According to her, if the child is reluctant because of a break from school, it is normal, especially among preschoolers. “To handle this, you have to encourage such child and also talk to the teacher to show love and extra attention during this period of weaning the child. If it has not been the normal trend, then the child might be unwilling to go to school because of fear.
“This could be fear of being bullied at school by his peers or even the teacher. Yes, teachers can be bullies too when you pick on a child unnecessarily. It creates fear in that child. If this is the case, you need to question that child to know the reason for his reluctance to go to school,” Agbaje said.
She noted that “avoiding school is one of the first signs that your child is being bullied. So, be sure to investigate that possibility. And have in mind that many kids are embarrassed to admit they are being bullied and may not tell anyone. It could also be an academic struggle for the child or dealing with anxiety.”
Agbaje explained further: “A child’s refusal to go to school is his way of solving a problem that only him/her understands. Unfortunately, refusing to go to school can create new problems for your child. Therefore, you need to help your child develop better problem-solving skills so that when problems arise, your child will be able to solve them successfully.
“As parents, you have to be able to tell your child that it’s his/her responsibility to go to school and learning to accept this responsibility is part of the problem-solving process.
“Ensure that after getting your facts about your child’s peculiar reason for being reluctant about going to school, you can then approach the school management constructively to share your observation with them. The school needs to tackle the problem appropriately and also, the child needs to be encouraged and counselled.
“Finally, understand that change is not an overnight process. It is unlikely that your child will make a complete turnaround and tolerate school in a short while. Gradually increase your expectations on your child’s acceptance, be patient and also check in with the school often.”
