I’m all for full fiscal autonomy right now, meaning with deficit spending powers, the power to create new money, (by printing or electronically) either as agreed with the rUK if we are sharing the same currency, or pegging our nominally independent currencies together at a 1-for-1 exchange rate, or, without agreement with the UK, having a floating Scottish pound.

What I’m not keen on is a faux-“full” fiscal alleged-“autonomy” which deprives the Scottish government of deficit spending powers, because that would spin the Scottish economy into recession.

What’s more to the point at this stage however, is it looks suspiciously like the SNP are not actually demanding full fiscal autonomy, are clinging onto mother UK’s coat-tails like grim death wailing “NO DETRIMENT TO SCOTLAND!”.

So you know, if Sturgeon is not even asking for FFA then it matters not what anyone else thinks of FFA because Scots won’t get it in the teeth of her opposition.

My satirical take on the relationship between PM Cameron and FM Sturgeon …

PM David Cameron – “I am Cam. I am Cam. Cam-I-am.”

FM Nicola Sturgeon – “That Cam-I-Am! That Cam-I-Am! I do not like that Cam-I-Am!”

PM David Cameron – “Do you want a Scots fiscal plan?”

FM Nicola Sturgeon – “I do not want it, Cam-I-Am. I do not want a Scots fiscal plan”.

PM David Cameron – “Would you want it here or there?”

FM Nicola Sturgeon – “I would not want it here or there. I would not want it anywhere! I do not want a Scots fiscal plan. I do not want it Cam-I-Am.”

PM David Cameron – “Would SNP MPs in the House? Or would they rather act the mouse?”

FM Nicola Sturgeon – “SNP MPs are in the House but they’ve been told to act the mouse. I do not want it here or there. I do not want it anywhere. I do not want a Scots fiscal plan. I do not want it, Cam-I-Am.”

PM David Cameron – “Will you send it to my inbox? Will you spend like Colin Fox?”

FM Nicola Sturgeon – “Not to your inbox. I’m not like Fox. SNP MPs will act the mouse. I do not want it here or there. I do not want it anywhere. I do not want a Scots fiscal plan. I do not want it, Cam-I-Am.”

PM David Cameron – “You campaigned for it in a helicopter. You’ve won the election now here you are.”

FM Nicola Sturgeon – “I would not, could not, in a helicopter. Nor in the First Minister’s official car”.

PM David Cameron – “You may want it. You will see. If you don’t want it then might Swinney?”

FM Nicola Sturgeon – “I would not, could not, give it to Swinney. Money doesn’t grow on trees. You let me be!”

PM David Cameron – “Would you let the Scottish pound float?”

FM Nicola Sturgeon – “I would not risk the markets’ gloat.”

PM David Cameron – “Well what’s the point, you’ve come so far but now you’re sticking where you are?”

FM Nicola Sturgeon – “The point is this, it’s still the same, the SNP need someone else to blame. So you keep power Cam-I-am and I’ll blame you for where I am.”

Thanks to Dr Seuss for the inspiration!