Having your child speak up for his or herself is an act that requires thoughtfulness to achieve. While speaking up may be perceived as rude if not carefully asserted, it ultimately shows how confident your child is.
Every parent wants a child who can speak up for him or herself especially when they are not available to play the defensive role, hence it is essential to teach your child social skills to help him communicate effectively.
Children can then learn to confidently assert themselves in expressing wants and needs and in engaging in play, conversation, and learning. Adults who have focused primarily on the child’s role of listening and following adult directions might intimidate a child who is passive about speaking up.
The child could become targets of bullying if his peers realise that they can’t or won’t speak up in resistance to unfair treatment. Hence these few tips will help your child speak up for himself.
Let him have a sense of self-worth. Your child needs to learn and believe that he is worth standing up for himself. Many kids, especially those who have difficulty developing self-advocacy skills, believe that their needs aren’t worth others’ time. The only way to change this narrative is to help kids build up their own feelings of self-worth and self-esteem. The best ways to do this are to make sure they have plenty of time for age-appropriate play, give them reasonable chores and responsibilities around the house, encourage their independence; and most importantly, show them unconditional love.
There should be goal setting. This is a great way to boost confidence. The goals they set could be academic goals that they are working toward, or they could be specifically related to speaking up for themselves. For example, a goal could be related to approaching a teacher within a certain time period with a question about an assignment. No matter what their goals are about, they should be specific, measurable, and realistic.
Ensure to model self-advocacy and a sure way to achieve this for your child is putting the skill in action. For example, if you are shortchanged at a store, go back and politely let the cashier know. If you feel indifferent about work, have a conversation with your child about it. Self-advocacy doesn’t have to always feel easy, but it’s important to show kids what it looks like in action.
Also have a discussion with your child about why it’s important for us to speak up for our needs and ourselves. Tell him about the benefits of advocating for oneself, both short- and long-term. Short-term benefits could include getting our immediate needs met, having our voices heard, feeling validated, and gaining a helpful sense of control over a situation. Long-term benefits are increased confidence and a greater chance at success in school, work, and life.
Developing self-advocacy skills is hard, and it certainly does not happen overnight. If your child is struggling to stand up and speak up for what they need or has low feelings of self-worth or self-esteem, these strategies should suffice and then, be patient. Just like any other skill, it takes time to build the confidence to advocate for yourself.
