Marriage, according of the Bible, is blissful union and couples are to enjoy themselves in it. The reverse has been the case for many, who now see it as a union full of troubles. For Reverend Adewale Ojo and his wife, Reverend Ebun Ojo of Christ Family Life Bible Church, Okota, Lagos, their union has been a blissful one. Recently, the couple celebrated 30 years in marriage.
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Explaining the secret behind their three decades of wedlock, the wife attributed it to the word of God, adding that without God’s word as their foundation and standard their union would not have stood the tests of time. She said: “The scripture says, ‘except the Lord builds a house, the labourers build in vain. It is the word of God that has built our home from the scratch. What held our marriage these three decades is basically the word of God. The glory of our marriage that people are commending today is connected to the word of God. We are products of God’s word.”

Describing how the journey started and how they were able to scale the hurdles, Ebun Ojo said: “We have scaled many hurdles and covered several milestones. Like Jesus said in John 16:33, ‘…in this world ye shall have tribulations but be of good cheers, I have overcome the world. So, no matter how it has been, we have made progress. Matthew 7:25-27 also applies to marriage. In a marriage you will pass through the rain, the flood and the wind. When you are stabilised on the rock, which is the word of God, none of these contrary conditions can sweep you off. Instead, they will fortify you.

But where you are not a doer of the word, the challenges of life such as the rain, flood and wind can sweep you off. Challenges of life do not know anybody; whether you are born again or not; they will come. The difference is when you are established on the rock; the word of God, you will stand. So, in these 30 years, we have experienced the rain, the flood and the wind, and standing by the word of God have kept us.”
She reminisced the encounter that crystalised into wedlock with nostalgia:

“I saw my husband two years before he physically appeared, while I was serving during my National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) in Gwari, Abuja in 1989. One Saturday while washing, I began to worship and praise God and suddenly, the Lord touched me. He opened the curtain and showed me what was coming. I saw myself walking to the aisle in a white wedding gown with a slim man beside me. I first saw my husband spiritually before I saw him physically.
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“Throughout my five years on campus I was never engaged to anyone. Some fellow sisters in the Scripture Union (S.U) who already had partners were concerned and often asked me; ‘Sister Ebun, when are you showing us your own partner?’ I told them God said in five years time. Then, I was a young convert; barely two years in the Lord. So, I zeroed my mind on evangelism and other spiritual engagements. No relationship with any man, but when the Lord eventually showed me my would-be husband physically, I saw him leading prayer at the Holy Ghost Ride programme of our church then, Vineyard Christian Ministries, Mushin, Lagos.

“And the Lord said to me, raise your head; that is your husband leading prayers. Surprisingly, after the grace, he walked to me and told me the Lord is leading him to have me as his wife,” she said.

On what was her immediate response when the man proposed, Ebun noted that there was no personal interaction between them, but was quick to say, “I only recognised him as one of the brothers in the church. In my response, I first played the usual lady’s hide-and-seek. In fact, I joked that did he mean I should pray for him. But, when he reinstated what the Lord had told him about me, I told him, I would pray about it. It took me about a month before I consented to his proposal to take me as his wife. As I said earlier, I had seen him in the spiritual before the physical. So, when he approached me to be his wife, it was a confirmation of what the Lord had earlier shown me.”

Speaking on the hurdles the husband passed through before he could marry her, Ebun explained that immediately he proposed to her, she informed her Senior Pastor, now Archbishop John Osa-Oni that one Brother Adewale in the church proposed to her.

According to her, the Senior Pastor took the matter up and seeing that the man looked too young, he asked me to pray further to find out if the man was the right man for me.

“I replied, he was the person the Lord showed me, and he accepted him. So, my Senior Pastor’s acceptance of him was the first hurdle he crossed; then followed by his acceptance in my family. My husband is a loved person in my family,” she stated.

What were the pre-marital decisions both of you took? Ebun admitted that their pre-marital decisions helped them to stay together for these 30 years. He said that during their courtship, they often met at a nearby school to plan their future. She disclosed that it was during this time that they decided on the number of children to have, how to manage their finances, relate with relatives and plan the career of their children, among others.
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“We did quite a lot of documentations and prayers on how to live our future together. We prayerfully set the template and designed the master plan of how to live our future together. Every intending couple needs to do this; set the template and design the master plan of their future together before going to the altar. This is very important. The marriage is not as important as the marital life. The marital life must be planned and prepared for,” she noted.

Recounting how they have been able to resolve their differences all these years, Ebun said: “Positive characters are offshoot of the word of God. One may have a good character, but lack the capacity to handle issues or crises if he/she is not rooted in the word of God. It is the word of God that has sustained us in times of our disagreements. My positive characters are offshoots of the word of God. The word of God corrects you, instructs you, directs you, moulds you and rebukes you. You are a total package if you are rooted in the word of God. When offence comes you view it in the lens of the word of God. For example, 2 Corinthians 6:3 says: ‘Giving no offence in anything, that the ministry be not blamed.’ I have resolved that as far as our marriage is concerned, the word of God must win over whatever our issues in my marriage may be.

“So, whatever the issue is I ensure it is resolved by the word of God. There are some disagreements that I may not get the solution immediately. I know over time in the place of the word of God I will finally get the solution. 

“Impatience can never resolve issues in marriage. Some issues in marriage take time to resolve. There is nothing new under the sun. The problem with a lot of couples is impatient in resolving their disagreements. If you are patient, the word of God will resolve your marital issues and blow your mind. This might not come immediately. If a couple is genuinely married in the Lord, they will definitely overcome their issues no matter how long they take. But for those who are married in the flesh; there is little or nothing anyone can do in stopping them from eventually parting ways over seeming irreconcilable issues in their marriage,” she stressed.
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