Do you ever wonder how your ‘toxic’ ex found love? Or how the troublesome woman living in your neighbourhood managed to marry a gentle spouse? This article is not about who is toxic and who isn’t, who should find love and who shouldn’t. It is about an aspect of relationships that isn’t talked about enough; I like to call it Relationship Maintenance Cost (RMC). It can be easily confused as compatibility, but it is not.
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According to Britannica, Maintenance can be defined as the act of keeping property or equipment in condition by making repairs. Do you know that humans also require maintenance? I guess you do. But do you also know that you have a maintenance cost? At the end of this read, you should be aware of what it costs to sustain a relationship with you, be it platonic or romantic. This knowledge will save you a lot of emotional stress. To throw light on this subject without leaving anyone out (as much as possible), we shall be dissecting people’s relationship maintenance cost using the Four Temperaments discovered by Hippocrates: Sanguine, Choleric, Phlegmatic and Melancholic.
Sanguine- Low Maintenance
Amongst the four temperaments, Sanguines are the most easygoing. They are very social and fun to be with. You will find them at parties, where there is music and lots of laughter. The admirable thing about them is that they gravitate towards happiness and are optimistic about life. Because of their love for happiness, they do not hold grudges. For these reasons and more, Sanguines are low-maintenance individuals.
Friends, colleagues and romantic partners of Sanguines do not have to do much to sustain their relationship because the Sanguine does not require it. It is not a big deal if you forget their birthdays; you can reach out to them once or twice and year and enjoy the interaction like nothing happened. They rarely have issues with people, but they’re not saints in the eyes of their high-maintenance friends/partners. Due to their carefree personality, they do not take commitments and expectations seriously, hence might be regular offenders when in a relationship with a high-maintenance person.
Choleric- High Maintenance
These guys are the alphas in their packs. Cholerics are highly motivated people who strive for excellence in all they do. It is difficult not to notice them in a room due to their confident personality and their desire to make an impact. You can find them in government officers or leadership positions; they are very passionate people, rarely mediocre in their affairs. This very passion that makes them excel also makes them hot-headed; hence, they are high-maintenance individuals. Cholerics require a lot more maintenance than Sanguines, there is bound to be friction between Sanguines and Cholerics. The carefree personality of a Sanguine can upset the organised Choleric who does not understand why an individual cannot be serious about important things. In a romantic relationship between the pair, this can be grounds for a split if the Choleric does not exercise patience while effectively communicating the need for the Sanguine partner to be attentive.
Phlegmatic- Low Maintenance
The ‘P’ in Phlegmatic if you ask me, stands for peace. Phlegmatics are the peacemakers. They are also very easygoing like Sanguines, but not as social, instead, they are calm. Phlegs are somehow able to manage their emotions so well that they are often accused of being unbothered; you will hardly see them fret even in stressful situations. Owing to this, they are very objective, hence not easily offended. A relationship between a Sanguine and a Phlegmatic is a sweet sight. Because they are both low maintenance, issues do not arise as often as it does in other combinations. This is not because it does not exist but the Phleg does not take the shortcomings of the Sanguine to heart. In a partnership between a Choleric and a Phlegmatic, it might look almost perfect but in reality the opposite. The overbearing nature of the Choleric might be too much for the Phleg who would not express their feelings due to their peace-loving nature.
Melancholic- High Maintenance
Melancholics as the name already implies are sensitive, thoughtful, anxious and socially withdrawn. From these descriptions, you can tell that they are high-maintenance individuals. First of all, they do not crave partnerships, they enjoy their own company. If they have to interact with other people, it must be worth their while. If you are looking for melancholics, you would mostly have to visit their various homes. If you are lucky, you might find them in the front rows of seminars and libraries. As you have already figured by now, Melancholics pair well with Sanguines but best with Phlegs. The peaceful but steadfast nature of the Phleg allows the Melancholic partner to feel less anxious and heard. On the other hand, a partnership with a Choleric might be tough if both parties are not aware of their maintenance cost, hence fighting blindly. If not salvaged on time, this partnership is bound to hit a rock.
If you are low maintenance, congratulations. If you are high maintenance, congratulations to you too. People who require more commitment and attention are often tagged as demanding, problematic and too sensitive but we forget that they play an essential role in relationships because they make things happen. It is important for high-maintenance individuals, especially those looking for love and friendship, to know that there is someone out there who is suitable for you, just the way you are. While self-improvement should never stop, you are deserving of love at every point of your journey. So, if anyone is unable to maintain a relationship with you, then maybe they just cannot afford it, and that is okay.
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