Marriage, money and happiness

It was a gathering of some adults. As the discussion went on, a compere said: “If you are not happy when you do not have money, you will still not be happy when you have money.”

One of the intelligent men instead argued that for a man who has responsibilities and does not have enough money to meet those responsibilities, there is no way such a man would be happy.

As a marriage and family counsellor, many eyes looked at my direction on what I had to say. I forgot to add that that statement made by the gentle man received a thunderous ovation. Those who know me more intimately, who were part of the audience, knew that I would want to swim against the tide of public opinion, which I did.

I explained that any marriage whose only or major source of happiness is money is not solid enough. I made it clear that while money is very important in marriage, couples should endeavour to build the foundation of the happiness of their marriage on love, kindness, contentment, patience, among others and not on money only. I am not saying that money cannot bring happiness to your home. I made reference to how I started life on a financial footing above average and my finances later nosedived.

I told them that while I did not want to remain in such a situation, I decided to be contented with whatever quality and quantity of food I could afford. I also became very sick. And I needed to buy antibiotics. I pleaded with a friend to lend me some money with a promise to pay him back later.

But because I could not pay him back early enough, he said he would seize my television set. I then unplugged it and put it his car. I started singing songs of joy and praise to God afterwards. I remained happy.

I told them that there were few periods when sadness would want to come, but I chased it away by deciding to be happy. I made it clear that being happy is a choice, which should be determined from the heart and not just by money. A man or woman whose happiness is determined only by money is not qualify enough. So, I said that couples should learn to be contented with each level of life they find themselves. I quoted 1Timothy 6:6-8: “But godliness with contentment is great gain… And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.”

A man who is financially down should make up his mind to be happy and pass this happiness down to the wife and children. When the Bible says: “Rejoice always I say rejoice,” it did not only refer to when there is money. It means that man has the ability to rejoice without money. It is in such a state of contentment, (and not murmuring as the Israelites did in the wilderness) that pleases God and makes Him fight your financial battles for you.

At the end of my explanation I asked whether they agreed with my views and I heard a loud, “yes!” What’s your view? Love you!