Treasonable teenagers and other matters

Adiele: Nigeria is a crime scene. We must start documenting evidence against the day of reckoning. We hope that some day all the criminals will be arrested and brought to trial. Looting of the nation’s coffers. Impunity at the highest level. Judicial corruption even in the Supreme Court. Flagrant abuse of power by the executive and legislative branches of government. We cannot go on like this for much longer. The elites are having a field day and do not see the need to stop the descent into anarchy. But mark my words: the end is around the corner!

Henry: Long overdue, it’s long overdue my brother!
Gboyega: There you go again, Mr. Extremism! How can a whole nation be a crime scene? What do you mean?
Henry: It’s an extended metaphor; do you understand what it means?

Adiele: My brother, you live in the wrong side of town; that’s why you cannot feel the pulse. There is hunger, there is anger. People can barely feed. The people are boiling oil to pour on the criminals in power. The government is introducing all sorts of taxes. I assure you of one thing: the end-bad-governance protest was a signal of things to come!

Gboyega: What came out of it, eh, what came out of it? Misguided elements in society taking to the streets to protest government policies is not new. Vapour! Nothing! It fizzled out as it started – without direction and a sense of purpose!

Racheal: Is that what you think? That nothing came out of it?

Gboyega: Did you see the pictures of those teenage traitors on social media last week? That’s what came out of it!

Adiele: Are you for real? You have the temerity to mock those kids who waved the Russian flag? Did you think they were traitors to the fatherland?

Racheal: I do not need to go into an argument with you if you entertain such preposterous ideas in your head. Come on! Those kids are the real heroes of the struggle for a true Nigeria.

Gboyega: Such idealistic nonsense ended in the 20th century. Join the fray and have a bit or a mouthful of the pie. Those who sit by the side will die of hunger!

Adiele: Let us have a context here so we can understand what befell those kids. Organisers of the mass protests on October 1, drew attention to the level of hunger and anger in the land. Some innocent kids were given Russian flags to wave as if they were inviting the Russians to come and deliver them from the shackles of poverty in the hands of their government. The government did not address the main issues. It simply arrested those teenagers and minors from Kano, dumped them in a cell in Abuja and totally forgot about them. Is this how to govern?

Gboyega: If you do anyhow, you will see anyhow too! Period! The president had no choice. The country was on the brink of bankruptcy. The harebrained policies of the previous government took their toll on the nation. The naira was being shored up with foreign exchange that was borrowed. Some one had to take the tough decision.

Racheal: Some people are ‘kept critics’, you know the tradition of mistresses who were kept by a big man and she must sing praises of the big man. No matter how bad the situation is, they would always look for ways to praise the government or justify its actions. Some news commentators are like the proverbial kept mistresses. There is one sitting in this room with us right now.

Henry: I wonder if such people shop in a special market where hangers-on are treated specially.

Racheal: There is no such market. But we primordial instincts are still very strong and powerful in the country. Look at the list of security personnel currently in circulation. What does the government hope to achieve with such a lopsided appointment scale?

Adiele: That itself is the end of the exercise. All but two positions are occupied by appointees from the north and southwest. Southeast and south-south had only one appointee each. Put simply, the federal government is the property of politicians from the north and southwest. Infantile nepotism!

Gboyega: Did the other zones vote for the president? No! They played politics of hate, of ethnic divide. Look, if you want the dividends of democracy, you must vote for the winning team.
Henry: That is contrary to the spirit of democracy. The winner becomes president to everyone, whether you voted for them or not. That is the ideal. When some parts of the federation see themselves as superior, then you are creating room for anarchy.

Adiele: Nothing seems to be working. Look at the power sector. People are paying through their noses for power supply. The universities are crying foul over the new rates. Why should a president who was supposedly elected by his own people implement the agenda of world financial institutions to the detriment of the people?

Racheal: The rate of people suffering from mental health issues has increased. You often meet people talking to themselves along the road. What about suicide attempts? Horrible ways of dying have entered the minds of people. What makes a man jump into industrial fire that is used to melt iron? Frustration! The president is not engaging with the people.

Adiele: He cannot engage with the people because he is minding his health. His visits to France and the UK are not for fun!

Gboyega: come on! Is a man is entitled to looking after his health? Do you want him to die suddenly?

Adiele: He was ill before he came into office!

Gboyega: Yet the people voted for him massively.

Racheal: Did they vote for him?

Gboyega: Of course, the national institution that is charged with declaring the winner pronounced him winner. The losers went to court to challenge his victory and lost all the way! What else can you say if the umpire said he won, and the courts gave him victory?

Adiele: Those officials were severely compromised. We know, they know, and you know it!
Racheal: Gbam!

Eghagha is a professor of English Literature and Literary Analysis at the University of Lagos.