Queen Ebilade is the wife of one of my younger brothers. She came to spend a few days with us during the last festive period. As we were having breakfast and chatting during one of those beautiful mornings, she noticed that her three-year-old daughter was playing more with her food than eating it. She turned and told her, “I’m going to feed you.” And the child replied, “why?” Queen looked at her daughter with a stern gaze and said: “I’m going to feed you.”

I gently intervened in a mother and daughter struggle for leadership by quietly telling Queen to gently explain to her why she wants to feed her. Queen did exactly that and she started feeding her question-asking daughter. I, then, told her that children of nowadays (for the past 30 something years till date) ask a lot of questions. They want to know why they should do something or not do it. They will not understand when you don’t explain. The educational system and the total social environment where they are being raised are different from what it used to be 50 years ago.

The movement of humanity from the subsistence agricultural age into the industrial revolution age, which started in England some hundreds of years ago later gave birth to the information age among others. And now, humanity is advancing into the artificial intelligence age -AI.

People born during the information age and now the AI age tend to question a lot of things. Queen asked me: “What if I do not know the answer?” I told her to tell the child to face the task at hand and that the answer will be provided at a later time. I, then, told her that a three-year-old child thinks that the parents know all things and will be disappointed that the parents do not know. You will hear some children say, “I will report you to my daddy.” It’s not, therefore, good to let them know at that early age that you do not know what they want to know from you.

The age under, which I grew up, you can be told to keep quiet. This reminds me of the world famous American gospel musician, Ron Kenoly. He said in one of his songs, that he remembered as a small boy when he was in church with his mother and singing the evergreen hymn “Amazing Grace” with the following lyrics “Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.” He said that as they were singing in church, he asked his mother “what is a wretch mum? Are you a wretch?” His mother said, “keep quiet and sing” and he obediently kept quiet. That age is rapidly getting over.

This again reminds me, when my son, Oghale, was about four years old. The practice in my home is that no matter how busy we are, we should have at least one meal together in a day. We love eating together as a family tradition. During one of such meals, Oghale now a pastor in his early 30s suddenly asked a question like “why is daddy’s chicken always more than our own?” I replied, the four year old by telling him that “daddy does more work and he, therefore, needed more carbohydrates and protein to work, so that, himself and the whole family can get better.” He and the other children were contented by my response.

I cannot forget a question ZaniAlaigba asked me. He was then about six years old. His father, Daniel and I were in the front seats of the car while Zani and his immediate younger one sat behind. We were driving somewhere. As Daniel Alaigba (his father) and I were gisting and laughing, we thought the two boys were sleeping. The next thing I heard was Zani saying: “Grand daddy, have you ever told a lie in this your life?” It was a very strange question, but because I started praying to God daily since when I was a bachelor till date to give me the wisdom to navigate my way through life and to handle tough problems and questions. Very clear answers were deposited in my mind by the Holy Spirit Who is my supplier of wisdom and my strengthener, my comforter.

I, then, replied my knowledge seeking grandson that I have told many lies in my life when I was growing up. But on a particular date, I made up my mind when I was a bachelor and vowed that I will never be a liar again. From what I could see, he was fully satisfied with the answer. If I had shouted at him to keep quiet and that he should not ask elders such questions, he might not have found a way of finding answers of how to handle the fight against telling lies if that was why he asked the question.

So, my advice to parents is that at this age of Artificial Intelligence , parents should become spiritually and emotionally intelligent to know when to give their children knowledge when they ask questions and when to tell them to keep quiet.

Lest I forget, it is good for every child to know that the father and mother can say shut up or keep quiet without being offended. We should not only apply ancient means of parenting neither should we only apply modern means of raising children. It should be a combination of the title of that Hymn book ancient and modern method of child upbringing. Love you!