Former Head of State, Yakubu Gowon, has offered rare insights into his relationship with his wife, Victoria, while leading Nigeria through the turbulence of the civil war years.

Gowon, the last surviving prominent figure of Nigeria’s civil war period, recalled how he proposed marriage to Victoria Zakari, a 22-year-old nurse, while serving as Head of State during the conflict. According to him, Victoria requested that he submit his proposal in writing before agreeing to marry him.

The retired General shared the story in his 859-page autobiography, ‘My Life of Duty and Allegiance’.

The Guardian reports that Nigeria’s 30-month civil war, fought between 1967 and 1970 between the Federal Government and the secessionist Republic of Biafra, remains one of the bloodiest conflicts in the country’s history, claiming more than a million lives and leaving deep political, ethnic and humanitarian scars.

Gowon led the Federal Military Government throughout the conflict and remained a central figure in efforts to preserve the country’s unity.

In Chapter Seventeen of the book titled, ‘War’s raging; Gowon’s marrying’, he disclosed that as Nigeria’s First Bachelor, ladies fell over him, recalling how a friend’s wife brought her younger sister to ‘greet’ him at the then seat of power, Dodan Barracks, Lagos, ‘but, in truth, wanted to matchmake me with the lady’.

According to him, nothing came out of her effort because he had no attraction to the lady in question.

He disclosed that he first encountered Victoria in 1964. He also revealed that by some coincidence, as Head of State, his police Aide-de-Camp (ADC), Sani Yaroson, was befriending Victoria’s elder sister, Comfort Zakari.

The former leader said he went about courting Victoria cautiously, first asking his ADC whether she was already in a relationship. According to him, he did so to avoid creating the impression that he was using his position to interfere in the relationship of a young couple.

In the tell-all memoir, Gowon also explained that his earlier relationship with Edith Ike resulted in the birth of a son, Musa Jack Gowon.

Recall that in March 2016, General Gowon released a statement confirming that a conclusive DNA test proved that Musa Jack Gowon was his biological son.

He said he ignored the 12-year difference between him and Victoria, adding that she had a high level of independence, self-worth and emotional maturity.

“If I were cautious about not making myself vulnerable to any possible charge of leveraging my high office to disrupt any relationship Victoria might have had, she, on the other hand, was emphatic about not starting any relationship with me if I had one ongoing with anyone else. She did not want any ‘wahala.’ She wanted a relationship on a clean slate, and very well documented, not just by me saying so verbally. Her request that I put this in writing initially sounded like a joke to me.

“When, however, I further reflected on the matter, I realised that I needed to treat it with all seriousness, not just out of my deep love and respect for her and her noble parents, but especially in view of the complications brought on by my previous relationship with Edith Ike and the birth of a son she named Musa Jack Gowon. As any mutual relationship between Edith and I had long been over, my conscience was clear as I wrote to Victoria to affirm that I had no existing relationship with any lady. This, of course, was the truth and it settled the matter,” he said.

He later exchanged vows with her on April 19, 1969, at the Anglican Cathedral Church of Christ in Marina, Lagos, in a ceremony still regarded as Nigeria’s only state wedding.

He came under intense public criticism for choosing to marry at the height of the civil war, with many questioning the timing of the ceremony amid the national crisis.

Despite the backlash, he stood firmly by his decision, insisting that the marriage was a personal commitment that did not in any way diminish his dedication to the war effort or his responsibilities as the country’s leader.

His words: “Several individuals felt that the timing of my wedding was wrong, not minding that I had kept thoughts of getting married on hold for the most part of the Nigerian Civil War because I was focused on the country’s challenges.”