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Books on Mike Adenuga’s quotes let out his witty mind

By Akeem Lasisi
05 December 2021   |   2:49 am
Unlike many other prominent Nigerians, Otunba Mike Adenuga is not a party person. He is not a billionaire you will spot at many social gatherings. This is to the extent that if he attends your event

Unlike many other prominent Nigerians, Otunba Mike Adenuga is not a party person. He is not a billionaire you will spot at many social gatherings. This is to the extent that if he attends your event, you almost deserve to hold a special thanksgiving for the feat.

Because he is not an afternoon crawler – let alone a night crawler – or someone you see even at many corporate venues speaking on different issues, it is not easy to get an insight into his perspectives about many issues. Many could even think he must be an introvert or a sadist as the case may be. Ironically, inside the Ijebu-born business mogul lives a boisterous, vocal and witty personality that must be very interesting to encounter. When he is in his own world, he generously dishes out profound views on matters cutting across different areas of life. Indeed, he can blow so much vibe and ‘yabis’ that you would find it unbelievable that he is the same ‘introvert’ character.

This is the revelation from a bouquet of three books I recently came across about the man. Titled, Memorable Quotes at 55, Memorable Quotes of the Great Guru (Part 2) and Memorable Quotes of the Guru (A Compendium in Commemoration of his 60th birthday), they are a catalogue of quotes by the Bull, as Adenuga is also called. But they are not just your usual books of quotes. Rather, they are presented in the form of cartoons, with each quote flowing out of the mouth of the subject, who appears on every page in the form of a caricature. This is how every page keeps you learning and laughing.

In many of the quotes, which emanated not from prepared texts but from direct encounter with staff, Adenuga comes out as a business leader with a strong vision and personal conviction. In some, he speaks from a mind with the added mission to make a point on behalf of his community, country and continent, in terms of the need to bless his space with his ideas and other means. In several quotes Adenuga exudes the aura of a corporate leader desirous to mentor people – his managers and staff. Here are some of such:
– There is no school to learn to be C.O.O or Chairman.
– In life, you must always have a backup to a backup.
– At least, when history is written, it will be said that Adenuga did it differently. He did his own way.
– If we don’t develop our country, no foreigner will come and develop it for us.
– Gentlemen, I have always known my strengths. One of them is to look through people and identify talents. That guy is good.
– At Glo, what we have with our partners is Catholic marriage, not a man and his mistress that jumps from one bed to another.

– Can I crash the tariff and drive these jokers out of the market?
Yet, while he can be compassionate with words in many of the thoughts presented, he is brutal with facts, threats and admonition in many. But what seems to be most revealing about the billionaire also called the Gamechanger, based on how Globacom entered the telecom market with per-second billing, is that he is incredibly witty and humorous as he is a bunch of sarcasm in a good number of the quotes. As a matter of fact, it seems that he talks not just to get the business done, but he also does so to enjoy himself s a creator and successful nurturer of ideas:
– Rule No 1: The Chairman is always right. When he is wrong, refer to Rule No 1.
– Please, respect our presence round this table. I don’t have to be here. I have 2 jets packed at the airport. My mates are in Bahamas.
– Gentlemen, your department is the sick bay of this company.
– I may have been born at night but certainly not last night.
– He says ‘No problem’ and that is the beginning of problems.

No wonder, in the foreword to Memorable Quotes of the Guru, exotically published by the Marketing Communications Department of Globacom Limited, the editors describe him as a human oracle. They note, “We deem it most auspicious to present a compendium of some of the words that have emanated from him – words sometimes so ferociously hot that they can make hearts freeze in serious contemplation, words sometimes so soothingly warm that they tear the thin layer that veneers his stern business disposition and magnetically draw you into his amiable personality, words that have the power to inspire and motivate to unimaginable levels of performance and achievement.”

Here are some of other quotes from the latest in the series of books:
– We need to empower middle-level management. That is what will drive this company.
– We are going for broke with a lot of hard work.
– Borrow, beg, cajole: we will find the money.
– On technology and infrastructure, we will always beat them. Money is not an issue.
– This is myopic. Can you give me a more robust and aggressive presentation, so that I can take the market?
– You can’t pull the wool over my eyes because I am a Nigerian.
– Women are like witches. They are very nice to you when they know you have just made some money. They can even call you ‘Daddy’ if you are lucky.
– My friends, I’m your boss. I’m not your colleague.
– You are sending me text messages and calling me every now and again. That is abuse of access.
– If not for pretty girls, I would have called it a day. Why do you think I’m behind this desk?
– Globacom is too big a brand. I will not let you rubbish it for me.
– Stop bringing me house girls to employ. Go to Globacom and see some pretty girls.
– Let’s take the business to where our bread is buttered.
– Uncle, stop sleeping. The rich don’t sleep. You pay people to sleep for you.
– Pleases, speak the truth – no padi padi here.
– I will send you to your village if you don’t get that job done.
– Bros, do your best to make sure that it happens. If it does not work out, I won’t resolve it in your favour.
– You send me one text message, you don’t hear from me, and you conveniently go to sleep. I am the Chairman, I cannot be chasing you over the place. You have to learn my way. I cannot change for you or I show you the way out.
– When a man has made a little money, he might as well spend a bit of it to buy some honour and prestige.
– If you don’t grab the opportunity, somebody else will grab it.

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