In I Am Better Than This, Adewumi addresses domestic violence
In an effort to encourage women going through abusive relationship, Funmi Adewumi has published a motivational book. The book proffers solutions to the disturbing issue of domestic violence in the country.
Titled, I Am Better Than This, an autobiography, Adewunmi uses experiences from her two failed marriages to motivate others.
Speaking during the launch, Adewunmi said she wrote the book due to the growing incidence of domestic violence in the society. “I have written this book to affirm the reality of abuse, rekindle hope and encourage women facing such to speak out and halt the growth of abuses and marital violence. It is also to breed kindness in the youth.”
While explaining the inspiration behind her book, she narrated what she went through in her last marriage, which lasted for less than three years.
“I automatically switched into my role as an obedient wife who desired to do everything to build her home in spite of the warning signs that his antics to control my movement portend.
“I chose to ignore every sign displayed like most of us do. He started getting angry, naggy and irascible over little things. The more I endured the incessant abuses, the more intense it got. I was humiliated in front of strangers and even in public places, but it didn’t stop there. I was heart broken, dejected and willful, living a single life, yet married.”
She added, “at this point, I was crying out loud for help but there was none in sight. Everywhere I turned to, I was encouraged to endure. I became a shadow of myself. I began to have suicide ideation but my children and purpose saved me, because it was bigger than me.
“It became so bad that every day was a living hell. I remembered an incident that ruffled my feathers. I had to face a trumped-up charge, and despite the proof of my innocence, I was punished emotionally and otherwise.”
She faulted the situation where marital failures are attributed to women. “The questions are always directed towards her like, ‘Why can’t she leave or walk away?’ but the right question should be, ‘Why can’t he stop?’ We should stop blaming the victim and start to set the new norm of mutual respect and tolerance,” she said while urging women who are facing abuse to speak out in order to stem the growth.
“I have written this book to affirm the reality of abuse and rekindle hope. It is also to breed kindness in the youth.”
Adewumi admonished everyone to treat one another with respect. “For us to see the change that we want in our society, I urge to treat others well and be mindful of our behaviours and how it affects others. It is not about how we feel but about how we make others feel.
“For us as a people, it is pertinent to understand when Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”. What she meant by this is that we will not only be remembered for what we have done but how we make people feel.”