In open to love… Aji reflects on challenge of divorcees, single mothers
For Aji R. Micheal, without human input, things are almost guaranteed to go wrong, it, therefore, takes determination, sound mind and an unwavering faith to see things have a positive turnout.
In her book, titled, Open To Love: A Modern Woman’s Memoir On Being Single And Happy, she identifies steps to overcoming mental clutter and wrong beliefs, among others, as single women.
The book targets single mothers, divorced women and ladies who are over 40 years and are single and tackles issues of mental health and well being to support single women especially during the pandemic and post-pandemic era.
“Though the positive news about COVID-19 vaccines gives us new hope, it doesn’t change the fact that the stresses of the global pandemic have exacerbated the challenge of addressing mental health issues,” she says.
The book chronicles the author’s personal experiences from being a single lady to a divorcee, ending being happily single again. It also offers advice and insight into overcoming depression.
According to Aji, her work with women has made her realise that seeking a man’s assurance or love is like having a sense of lack, being emotionally needy with low self-esteem.
She notes every woman, irrespective of her age, colour or race can learn the secrets of living a life without fear, bitterness, unworthiness, rejection or neediness but this can only happen with a new belief system that gives renewed hope and great optimism in all aspects of life now and the future.
Aji says: “Picture what it would be like if you no longer have to settle for just about any guy when seeking a partner. Imagine how you’d feel if you no longer have to deal with feelings of unworthiness and rejection.
“It gets frustrating when you have to continually deal with those beliefs that prevent you from living a more whole and fulfilling life. It makes you want to tear your hair out. Sometimes, you want to throw your hands in the air and throw in the towel. But then, you look around and see that other people are living your kind of dream life – a healthy, Christ-like life with meaning and purpose. You figure that if these people can do it, so can you (and that’s true). If only you could discover their secrets, then you too could live that kind of life.”
She advises women to love themselves first and others would appreciate their worth. “The truth is, the more love you have within yourself, the less you seem to need love from other people, and the more likely others will be drawn to you. God is our only source; only He can provide all our needs. Although those needs are met by humans (God embodied) and not necessarily your partner. Expecting your partner to meet all your needs is unhealthy to yourself and the other party.”