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The secret cocktail of successful people


Lanre Olusola

“If you have a healthy self belief and a healthy self esteem, you can conquer the world irrespective of your challenges and disabilities.” – The Catalyst.

THE lot of people have good ambitions and goals but the possibility of achieving those goals seems impossible due to their low self esteem and lack of confidence and beliefs in those goals.

Everyone at one point in time doubted the possibility in achieving certain goals but the ability to overcome such doubts and negative beliefs distinguishes achievers from other people.


The secret cocktail to success is a combination of a healthy SELF ESTEEM, healthy SELF CONFIDENCE and a healthy SELF BELIEF.

Self esteem is a reflection or a measure of your overall evaluation, your own evaluation and appraisal of your self-worth. It encompasses various beliefs about things that you are confident about and things that you feel worthy about and also whether you feel worthy of yourself. It influences the way you feel about yourself and the way you give expression to your feelings.

End products of low self esteem are despair, shame, hatred, lack of power, lack of confidence to do anything. It is what we think about ourselves and it can be positive or negative, depending on your perception and the picture of yourself.

How do you picture yourself? What identity have you given yourself?

Our attitude and behaviour in life largely depends on how we think about ourselves, either positively or negatively.

Each human being processes between 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day with an average of 60,000 thoughts a day. 30% of those thoughts are general thoughts and are grouped under survival thoughts such as what to wear, what to eat etc.; while 75% of the rest are negative limiting disempowering thoughts which bring about a low self esteem and a negative picture of yourself that you paint.


True and healthy self esteem lies in our deep respect and value for ourselves. So, it is not caused by anyone or the situations, circumstances and environment around. You are the catalyst towards whether you have a healthy self esteem, self confidence, self belief or whether you don’t.

Self esteem can be built or destroyed based on the environment one grew up in, schools attended and interactions with your peers, teachers, and family members. It is quite unfortunate that parents, family members and teachers influence one’s self worth. When the aforementioned set of individuals disallow children to express themselves, discover themselves or create an enabling environment that gives them awareness and knowledge, high regard, self acceptance and a sense of true worthiness of themselves; lack of self esteem will begin to build up.

As a parent or teacher, you should allow children to express themselves, discover their potentials and live their dreams. Allow them become what God has called them to be. Honour your children’s gift; celebrate that gift and help them develop that gift. More so, negative interactions, nicknames, verbal abuse, mean statements affect one’s self esteem. Nicknames have its way of creating and painting your future for you.

Negative nicknames could define your future. If you keep on responding to such nicknames, you are giving attestation, affirmation, and acceptance to that name. You can contribute to low self esteem in other people’s life based on the kind of feedback you give to the person – how you look at the person, things you say to the person and the way you relate with the person can make or mar one’s self esteem.


When you have low self esteem, you cannot and will not care for yourself neither will you create the things that you want nor need.

A lack of a self esteem, self confidence and self belief eliminates your ability and momentum to create success for yourself consistently. No one wants to live their life without self esteem.

A healthy self esteem is a gift you give to yourself. It is the permission that you give to yourself to succeed. It doesn’t lie in anybody’s hand. Negative things people describe or say to you constitutes majorly to low self esteem but how you accept, embrace and what you do about those negative comments is your own responsibility; it lies in your hands. It is not the function of the external circumstances; it is all about how you interpret it, how you embrace it and what you do with it. The way you see a problem is the problem.

Lizzie Velasquez, a motivational speaker who is termed as world’s ugliest woman said “I don’t hook myself esteem on shoes, dresses, jewelleries, wrist watches. Even though I am human and I go through my highs and my lows and I have worked through my self belief, self esteem and self worthiness.”

A lot of men and women derive self confidence from the material things they posses and their position in the society but within their true and inner self, they feel very empty. Your self confidence is not in the shoes, dress, jewellery, cars, spouse you have or the things of the world; your self confidence comes from deep within you.

If you are going through challenges and tribulations and difficulties which we all go through on a daily basis, you can learn how to stand on your feet, fight back and stand tall to be a conqueror.

If you are having issues with your self esteem, belief and confidence, download the CoachME Online App from Google Playstore to get connected with a Life Coach or visit For more information kindly contact us at


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