Darus-Salam harps on child upbringing as pivotal to societal reformation
For the children of today to grow and truly become the leaders of tomorrow with transformational instinct, parents have been urged to adopt perfect nurturing models and dedicate more time for their younger ones.
Muslim scholars that spoke at the just concluded seven-day Maolid Nabiyy celebration of Jama’at Darus-Salam Organisation of Nigeria in Oko-Olowo, Ilorin Kwara State, described children as “precious gifts without which life neither has colour nor taste. They are the joy of today and the custodians of the morrow. They enliven our lives and perpetuate our memories long after our demise. Yet they are each a trust from God and the nature of our memories is largely hinged on the quality of training we give to our children. Their roles, as well as their impact, in societal reformation can never be overemphasized.”
The highlights of the lectures on how a well-trained child can assist in redeeming the lost glory of the society include causes of waywardness/hooliganism among children, effects of the modern day information technology apparatus in the life of the young ones, impact of the environment on child training, effect of education and civilization in children upbringing, and the financial implication of child fosterage.
While enumerating some of the causes of waywardness among children, one of the lecturers, a Police Inspector, Abdulfatai Oyewole, said withering of early days love among parents (which should be new always to reassure the child of his security in the family and in the society), divorce, keeping late nights, lack of parental care – failure of parents to supply the child’s essential needs, unrestricted freedom of children in the use of social media which eventually dictate their actions, and keeping bad companies.
Proffering solution, Oyewole advised parents to keep their children positively engaged, teach them endurance through modeling, monitor them, their activities as well as their companions.
To achieve this, he said parents must have time for the family, visit the child’s school regularly, and desist from shouting on the children or making them unfulfilled promises.
An Islamic scholar and civil engineer, Ashiru Abdulqodri, who spoke on the effects of the modern day information technology apparatus in the life of the young, said though the gadgets could be employed to improve the lives of the children, the kids are mostly overwhelmed with the negative side effects, hence the necessity of the parents’ monitoring of the children’s activities online, especially, on the social media; and plan their future with them.
He also advised parents to encourage children to listen to news, watch educational programmes, and decry demoralising enticements like gambling, the often promoted songs of iniquity, and endless hours wasted watching idealised-personality films on cable televisions.
Abdulqodri bemoaned the extinction of television programmes like “The Debaters,” “Diction Avenue,” and “Mind Your Grammar” which were a great aid to his learning as a child.
The environment was described as a bottle, and the children, as the content. The environment sews the garb, which the children wear. Children that are reared in a crime-ridden environment are more likely to become criminals than other children brought up otherwise. Hence, bad environment is a risk factor for criminality in the society. In the interest of this generation and generations yet unborn, all those involved in child upbringing should never condone crime in whatever form.
On the effects of education and civilization on child upbringing, Dr Danladi Shitth said spoke extensively on the roles of parents as the first school of the child; and the foundation they lay is what other future trainers build on towards raising emotionally mature adults.
Since parents are not the same in their approaches, there is bound to be differences in the products of their exercises. They are categorized as Authoritarian parents and Neglectful/Permissive/Uninvolved parents.
He said: “It is unfortunate today that parents rarely ample time for their children: early attachment of baby to mother is dead as maternal deprivation becomes the order of the day. The early foundation is shaky, teachers are not adequately remunerated and parents are not selective of who trains their children, peer groups are no better option to learning, and the religious houses teach little about morals and integrity.
On the economic implication of child upbringing, Alhaji Sharafufeen Aliagan, reiterated that all efforts of both parents and teachers at all levels are geared towards eventual self-sustenance. Everything a parent does is a lesson to the child: when a parent registers his child in a high-tuition paying school he cannot afford and the child his sent back home for school fee that is never available, it is a lesson for the child to live beyond his earnings in future. Children should be taught the reality of life as regards affluence and poverty as well as how to manage both.
“Every child should be given financial education on the legal ways of making money, how to spend it wisely, how to double the returns, and save adequately for the future. In the olden days, handiwork was popular in our primary schools; and several great men of today were hawkers to support their parents on the one hand and gain financial training on the other. Rather than diminishing their status in the society, hawking has really enhanced their success in life. Hawking today, if need be, may be said to be bad if it prevents a child from acquiring the required education. Hence the necessity to have the child’s interest in mind when deciding on what to hawk, when to hawk, where to hawk, and why the child should hawk.
“Today, nothing stops a student who also attends an Arabic school from learning a trade. The more he is prepared for life, the easier it becomes for him to live it. No matter what we teach a child in life, he will live his life alone; and no matter the level of his attainment in learning, if he fails in finance, he fails in all things.”
“From the children’s special programmes on the third day of the exercise ranging from impromptu speeches, quiz and debates, their actions definitely confirmed the assertion that while we try to teach children all about life, we actually learn from them what life is all about.
“Every parent, as well as all those that are involved in child upbringing should always bear in mind that having children is one thing, and bringing them up in the right way is another. Failure to play our roles well is not only a threat to our future but also to our dream heritage for a better society,” he said.
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