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Mastering your emotions for daily living


Lanre Olusola

In order to fully grasp the concept of Emotional Intelligence and how it can lead to high or low performance, it is important to first understand the basics.

The term ‘emotion’ originated from the word MOT, which means ‘drive’. Emotions are what drive us daily.

Some days we wake up feeling very energetic, like we can conquer the world, while other days we wake up feeling indifferent and tired of the day, which has not even begun.


Our emotions can push us forward, backward, or slow us down.

But how does a person move from one spectrum of drive to another?

1. Thought Management: This involves navigating your emotions, going within yourself and thinking of your purpose for that day and what you want to achieve.

2. The use of consequential thinking: This involves thinking through the outcome of what you want to do before doing it. This is an emotional intelligence skill for self-motivation.

An example is: the thought of what it will cost you if you don’t leave your bed at 6am, freshen up quickly and leave the house in order to secure a deal by 8:30am. At that point the subconscious quickly goes through a thought process.

3. Optimism: Another way a person can tap into the drive, which is required of him, is through optimism i.e. the ability to see something positive in everything. You can wake up in the morning, irrespective of how you are feeling, and say to yourself ‘today is going to be a good day, I can feel it’.

As you speak the positive affirmations, which the subconscious has picked up, you will subconsciously develop a positive drive for the day notwithstanding how you felt earlier.

4. Intrinsic motivation: This type of motivation comes from the inside, which a lot of times are tied to your values as a human being. The behavior arises from within the individual because it is naturally satisfying to them.


In some cases, such as when a person is going through depression, it is almost impossible to be motivated by yourself. At that point, it is important to get the help of a Therapist, Life Coach, Emotional Intelligence Coach or Therapist. The individual needs a professional who can assist at that point, with the help of tools or models that are designed to help people going through certain mental health issues.

Emotional intelligence can make or break every other skill. It is very important in every area of a person’s life, be it in the workplace, at home or wherever you find yourself at any given point.

When it comes to the workplace, the three different types of skills needed for work include:

• Technical Skills: such as Accounting, Engineering skills

• Soft skills: such as Communication, Negotiation, Presentation, etc.

• Human skill: such as Emotional Intelligence

Every skill is subjected to the human skill, which is Emotional Intelligence. As a professional in any field, you need to be able to manage your emotions.

To communicate effectively, it is important to think before you talk and manage whatever you are feeling – this is an emotional intelligence skill.

85 per cent of what we do at work is relational and emotional, while 15 per cent is technical.

The term ‘hard work’ is not a technical skill but an emotional intelligence skill. The ability to start something and meet the deadline requires a particular mental state – Resourceful State.

It is very important for employers to understand the fact that their employees are windows to their shop – if they are treated well, they will be effective and produce positive results.

There is a difference between knowing about Emotional Intelligence (EI) and using it. Knowing involves reading books and understanding its concept.

Knowing about Emotional intelligence and not using it, is like a person who is carrying 50 tubers of yam without a wheelbarrow – he/she will struggle all through. Emotional Intelligence is very key in every workplace in other to bring about consistent and positive results.

Our emotions need to be as educated as our intellect. It is important to know how to feel, respond, and how to let life in so that it can touch you.

Sign up for the Emotional Mastery class, which takes place from the 22nd to 24th June 2018. For more enquirers, give us a call on 08077077000 or send an email to

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