Rescuing future generation through practical parenting
Everything rises and falls with the family unit because it is the bedrock of society. And throughout the ages, children have always been referred to as the leaders of tomorrow.
To prepare tomorrow leaders for the big task therefore, the family and schools are the two major societal institutions saddled with the responsibility to care, foster and educate children.
In fact, the family is often seen as the most natural and important part of children’s lives, as parents are obliged by law to see to their care and upbringing.
The parents are expected to guide and modify the behaviour of their child to conform to acceptable behaviour in the society, as well as participate in activities aimed at preventing crimes or disorders being committed by their children.
According to Sidney Newton Bremer: “The minds of little children operate somewhat like the copying machines in our offices… they constantly record and tend to perpetuate every thought or suggestions to which they are exposed.”
Ironically, some parents have failed in their roles and functions. They adopt permissive and laissez-faire parenting styles that inadvertently make their children vulnerable to anti-social and deviant behaviours.
It is for this reason that the forthcoming National Parenting Conference, which holds in Lagos on May 12, 2018 becomes relevant and timely.
The conference would focus on the rationale for children’s anti-social behaviour and highlight some of the corrupt behaviours parents exhibit. The root causes of these behaviours would also be brought to the limelight and suggestions proffered for improving parenting.
According to a 1986 study, low levels of parental warmth could contribute to behavioral problems as well as insecurity and emotional difficulties in children and adolescents. Kids who don’t get parental praise may also experience social withdrawal and anxiety.
Many parents, according to a Boston Medical Centre research regret spending too much time at work and smartphones, ignoring their kids.
Some parents pay little or no attention to their children, while some others are so busy building their careers and making money. They leave the care of their children to house helps and nannies, who in most cases, have no idea of how to properly bring up children.
Leaving children to the care of nannies and house helps in their most delicate stage (childhood) is an immense mistake that several parents make.
Most of these children grow up without proper guidance and direction and they have to learn about behaviors from their peers and the immediate environment.
The bad news is that most of these behaviors learned from peers and the immediate environment are more often than not, negative behaviors that go a long way to negatively affect the children later in life.
In worse cases, the children are sexually abused and threatened into silence without the knowledge of their parents.
Recently, a viral post on social media reads: “If you don’t teach your children to obey Jesus Christ, the devil will teach them evolution, sexuality, psychology, witchcraft and so on.”
Hence, today, the rate of crime is on the increase, poor work ethics, corruption and other vices are said to be product of failed parenting.
W.E.B. Du Bois once said children learn more from what you are than what you teach, but in a world where parents seem confused in the upbringing of the children, who then takes responsibility for the proper upbringing of the child? Leading by example may be the surest way out.
Some parents abandon their kids in the name of work and think they could make up for weeks of absence by just buying them things; gifts of clothes and cash, failing to understand that such gifts could never replace proper parenting.
Ray Morphy once said: “The social disaster that our country is fast becoming started from homes run by parents who should never have been allowed to rear chicken not to talk of having children.”
In their effort to provide solution to this societal menace, Breach Repairers plans to hold its 2018 National Parenting Conference on May 12 at The Guiding Light Assembly, Lagos with the theme: Critical Rescue 2018.
The conference is crucial, as it would attempt to raise a generation of purpose-driven Nigerian youths to be socially responsible and have integrity.
While speaking ahead of the conference, the organisers led by Chief Executive Officer of Breach Repairers, Nduka Chuks, lamented that drug abuse, same sex relationships and other forms of addiction were among the challenges facing the Nigerian youths.
He added that the emerging challenges in parenting the 21-century child demands all stakeholders, including parents, teachers, government and concerned adults should collaborate to achieve a common goal.
“The cry today is about getting to the top by all means without due process. To the 21-century child, having resources to feed their dysfunctional character counts above embracing values that builds competence and capacity,” he added.
He also pointed out that concerted effort was crucial to guide against the emerging trends that are capable of destroying the future of the country, stressing the need to accentuate purposeful parenting that embraces discipline by all.
According to him, “Purposeful parenting requires the parents knowing the way, showing the way and leaving a legacy for sustainable development of competent character and capacity.”
The conference he said will focus on positioning the Nigerian youths on the right track, as same sex relationship is gradually creeping into the church.
Recalling when the conference started in 2011, with focus on sexual purity, the pastor said parents have failed as their lack of supervision has exposed their children to all sort of vices. “Everybody must rise up and do something about the Nigerian child,” he added.
Also speaking, member, planning committee, Dr. Nkem Okoro, said children are trained more by advice and good examples than by rod and criticism, adding: “Parents who are supposed to be the rescuers are also in need of a rescue, as they need to understand what parenting is all about, otherwise they turn into killers in the course of discipline.”
Also, chairman of the body, Itua Ighodalo lamented that sexual education was low in homes, as many parents have forgotten that the family is the fabric of society, hence “the need to restore family value is crucial. Today, parents are too busy to have time for their children.”
Ighodalo called on the government to address this issue by appointing qualified teachers to train students and provide security in all schools to safeguard the future of Nigeria.
Last year’s edition had wife of Vice President, Mrs. Dolapo Osinbajo speak on the relationship between parents and children, through a video conference where she argued that the solution to good parenting lies in swift critical rescue through regular effective parenting training, parents building cordial relationships with their children and also not relenting in curtailing their excesses.
Her words: “Parents are to build a cordial relationship with their children, discover what they are passing through and seek ways out of such problems otherwise the children will seek solutions from the wrong quarters.
“Mothers should train and impact wisdom into their children, give them proper home training, teach them on the importance of integrity and honesty.
“It is important to train our children and those around us in the right way; we should not shy away from curtailing their excesses. Talk to them and teach them the right thing, tell them when they are not dressing well, do not allow them to dress anyhow in the name of fashion.”
Breach Repairers, therefore, advised that since children begin to learn from the moment they arrive, parents must live exemplary lives so as not to misguide them.
It noted: “Children will learn in their own unique way from everything you introduce to them. The home is a component of the society and whatever happens in it is reflected in the society.
Parents should educate their children in character and learning because when the foundation is right, they would be transformed when they come out.
For Mrs. Fidelia Aire, “There should be a sense of responsibility and devotion to our children. Parents should invest enough time to their emotional and spiritual needs. Some parents do not have time always to their children’s needs.
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