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The Art of Flirting by Touch

When it comes to flirting, I’ve always thought I was quite terrible at it. Rather than beat around the bush and attempt to bat my eyelashes, I’ve always had a more direct approach. For me, it’s a lot quicker to express interest in a person and make the person aware of your intentions right off the bat. People eventually convinced me this method of approach isn’t really the best, and I decided to seek more subtle ways to letting a person know I was interested in him. This is how I started to learn the art of flirting by touch.

A lot of you will understand what I’m talking about, because I am sure you are familiar with that tingling feeling that runs through your body when someone you’re attracted to brushes your arm or leg even accidentally. Flirting by touch really doesn’t take much, and it’s not extremely obvious that you’re flirting at all. All it takes is a few brushes here and there, and a light tap or two.



Here’s How Flirting By Touch Works

  • It’s often best to start off slow and ease into it. You can “accidentally” touch neutral areas like arms and shoulders lightly while discussing something, so it feels like a subconscious action. This allows the person you’re flirting with know that you’re not uncomfortable with touching, and should also build a little bit of interest. Just don’t do it too frequently.
  • Celebrate shared moments and high points. Sometimes in your conversation, you might share a moment when you both agree on something, or enjoy a shared joke. At these points, celebrate with more direct contact like a high five or fist bump. This way that good feeling will be associated with your touch. Shared laughter calls for light touching as well.
  • If you feel like it is time to escalate things a little bit more, then you should know where people like to be touched. Touching a woman’s lower back, is always an indication of interest; except you’re a relative.
  • For a man, touch his arms and chest a little more intentionally and compliment his physique. This is also a subtle way of letting him know your interest is piqued; just in case he still hasn’t realised it.
  • If you’re walking around and talking, holding hands is also another way to go. Or even if you’re just standing and talking and you’re about to share personal information, grasping the other person’s hand is an indication of trust.


The thing with flirting by touch is that it is bonding on a discreet level. As you talk a bit more, you’ll get closer to each other and touching will become a bit more natural. You should also be aware of how this person is reacting to your touch. If it’s something he/she isn’t comfortable with, it’s important to restructure immediately. One should never get so carried away that you don’t respect a person’s personal space.


Flirting by touch is also very dependent on who the individuals involved are. No two people will ever do it the same way, and different people may not react the same way as well. What is important is to focus on enjoying the moments, and not be too focused on the results you expect.

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