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Examining The “Wife Material” Ideology

If you spend any amount of time engaging others on relationships and marriage, you may get the sense that there is only one acceptable kind of wife. She looks a certain way, behaves a certain way, and is great at certain things. Any woman who does not fit into this mould is not “wife material”.

In reality, nothing could be farther from the truth. There are many different kinds of women and, as such, many kinds of wives. No one “type” is superior to the other.

You hear “a wife should be this” or “this is what wives do” with little or no room to acknowledge the fact that, even though there are basic similarities, women (and wives) are not all the same.

Some women like to have guests over, cook and entertain. Others prefer their solitude and want to keep their home as a private haven. In the same vein, some women are domestic goddesses who enjoy doing housework, while others prefer to pay someone to handle the housekeeping.

Some women are high achievers on the path to being shining stars and dominating their industries. Whereas the right husband will be proud of her, she will not be valuable in the eyes of a man only looking for a wife to cook, clean and wash for him. Then, there is the woman for whom feeling secure is the number one priority. She wants to marry a man who knows to provide for and take care of her, even if she is also bringing money to the table.


A woman may particularly like the finer things in life and will prefer for her man to provide them for her. A man who marries her without understanding this may label her materialistic.

Many assume that all women are romantic, but this is not so. Some women excel at being realistic, prudent and practical. What they lack in romance and affection, they make up for in capability and shrewdness. A man who does not prize these qualities will keep comparing her to other women. But, this same woman will be an asset to a man who needs and appreciates her great qualities.

Not all wives can skillfully get great bargains or find cheaper alternatives of good quality. There are women who will take excellent care of their man and run a home as long as money is no object. They simply don’t know how to budget or be frugal. There is certainly a kind of man they have no business marrying.

“Wife material” is not a popsicle mould into which every woman must pour herself.

Never try to become someone else, real or imaginary. Instead, aim to marry a man for whom you’re the best fit. What makes you different makes you beautiful, and you are woman enough for the right man. In fact, for that man, you’re the best wife there ever could be.

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Joy Ehonwalovemarriage
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