The Guardian
Email YouTube Facebook Instagram Twitter
Everything you need to live well

Elsie’s Corner: How To Take Care Of Your Romantic Heart

Unfortunately, in our quest to find love, we open our hearts to so much pain and disappointment that it becomes hard to recognise love when it finally comes knocking.

You have exerted so much energy chasing the wrong people and things that your heart no longer has the zeal to fight for the right one. Now you are just there, hoping the right one has the heart to go the extra mile to revive your already wounded heart. What if that doesn’t happen? What if you are both wounded and have decided to curl up. It’s time to guard your heart and take good care of it.

Photo: Potentash

Here are some tips to take care of your heart:

Don’t be anxious

The feeling of anxiousness is where all your insecurities come to play. This makes you try to alter so many things just to be perfect for a partner. You are worried about your feelings, their feelings, the outcome and if you two will be great together because you already see them as the perfect partner. Take a deep breath and avoid over analysing the outcome.

Take it slow

Avoid moving too fast. Don’t confuse taking things slow with prolonging the chase. There is a difference. You need to learn this in order to take care of your heart. Be clear with your signals, but build a friendship first before committing.

Maintain your standard

Let go of every unrealistic standard you have, but maintain the realistic ones. You are not asking for too much; you know what you want and can get it. Letting go of your standards just to settle or be in a relationship will only hurt you more in the long run. People go in and out of relationships within weeks or months because they have no standards.

No expectations, no assumptions

If you do not expect, you will not be disappointed. Don’t hurt your heart further by expecting them to fit the idea of that perfect being you have in mind. Give people room to be who they are, then decide if you can love and tolerate them. Assumptions, on the other hand, ruin even a perfect relationship. If you don’t assume, you get the facts right.


Take care of your heart by engaging in proper communication with your (intended) partner. This will help you get to know them properly. However, you must make them feel comfortable talking to or with you so that they can open up.


Define your relationship and stick to that definition. Is it for the long haul or just a short-term hookup? Be sure you fully understand the advantage and disadvantage of whatever form of relationship you are going into. If you start feeling a different type of way or vibe from what the definition of your relationship is, go back to the drawing board and communicate.