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An international conversation – Part 3

By Hope Eghagha
28 May 2018   |   3:00 am
Pierre: I congratulate you on the latest royal wedding. Boris: Thank you. An excellent PRO for us and the monarchy! Helmut: It’s a good thing to watch a beautiful wedding that made everyone smile, not a report of mass killing or earthquakes! Boris: It was a beautiful day, reminiscent of the old days, the days…

[Fille] People Talking. Photo: Newd Magazine

Pierre: I congratulate you on the latest royal wedding.

Boris: Thank you. An excellent PRO for us and the monarchy!

Helmut: It’s a good thing to watch a beautiful wedding that made everyone smile, not a report of mass killing or earthquakes!

Boris: It was a beautiful day, reminiscent of the old days, the days of Her Imperial Royals!

Helmut: You can say that again! Well arranged, well programmed, and well delivered!

Tom: Yeah! The good old Britain with pomp and pageantry thrilled the world to no end. The Queen was at her best, not to talk of Prince Charles. I was a little jealous. Little wonder Trump wants the American military to copy the French in parades!

Helmut: Don’t mind the clown; everything is a reality show to him! That’s the reason he wasn’t at his wife’s bedside after she had surgery. No cameras!

Tom: You can’t beat the Brits!

Boris: That’s the result of hundreds of years of tradition!

Pierre: A good thing though the politicians were left out of the church service! I guess it was a diplomatic way of avoiding a snub!
Helmut: How do you mean?

Pierre: Picture a situation in which Obama was invited and Trump did not get an invitation because of his crude ways of wanting the front seat and attention! Or how would you have managed Trump and the London Mayor in the same cathedral!

Boris: Well, as you said, we nicely sidestepped that. The galaxy of stars in the cathedral- Oprah Winfrey, Beckham, Idris Elba and the cast of Suits- did enough honour to the sweet couple!

Pierre: You guys are ahead of America on symbolic matters. A Black lady marries the possible-future King of England! I mean, the British monarchy now stands the remote possibility of a Black someday sitting on that White throne!

Tom: Naah! You aren’t ahead in no way! Don’t forget that we produced a Black President in the White House for eight years!

Helmut: And wiped out his legacy by immediately electing a White supremacist!

Tom: Democracy at work! Democracy at work, my dear friend! The people spoke different languages at different times!

Boris: We made reparations on the Diana debacle by this very wedding!

Pierre: Yeah, the finish line was inside the beauty of Paris!

Helmut: I don’t think I understand the import of your conversation Monsieur Pierre and Sir Boris!

Boris: If you don’t mind let us concentrate on the couple who made us proud!

Pierre: I admired the preacher and his love topic. Fantastic idea to bring him into the show! Whose idea was it to travel across the Atlantic to talk love-sense into the heads of powerful people, including the Mighty Queen herself?

Boris: Doesn’t really matter whose idea it was. But it ended well. I hope you don’t imply that there was no love in the hearts of people inside the cathedral!

Helmut: No such thing; not with the very god of Gay Love, Elton John and his husband in the cathedral!

Pierre: The ceremony itself was a celebration of love- love between Harry and Meghan, between the monarchy and the people, and between races. Wish the world would just
continue like that!

Tom: The massacre of unarmed Palestinians isn’t a celebration of love. It is the triumph of brute force over fairness!

Helmut: Ask Trump!

Pierre: Ask Netanyahu!

Boris: I liked the way Prince Charles led his Meghan through the aisle!

Tom: Fantastic; why didn’t her mother Doria Ragland do it anyway if Mr. Markle was ill?

Helmut: Big question, big good question!

Boris: We are not that sophisticated yet!

Pierre: I beg your pardon! She ought to have completed the feminist trope in the drama!

Boris: Next time, perhaps! Next royal wedding will be better.

Tom: When will that be?

Boris: Who knows? Let’s take each day as it comes. I still savour the beauty of that day!

Pierre: I missed Diana that day. Wish she had been present to see her beloved boys blossom in such a fantastic manner!

Tom: Not too bad; I see her spirit in the boys. The free spirit is in Harry and I guess he also identified Meghan as a free spirit too.

Helmut: Certainly, they are the future face of the monarchy, young men and women with whom the world could connect, not as royalty, but as sweet human beings with foibles!

Tom: Yeah! I didn’t see Princess Anne in any of the pictures or Prince Andrew for that matter?

Boris: it wasn’t their day; so they stayed in the cooler boozing some champagne with taxpayers’ money.

Tom: That’s the price you pay for keeping a fat monarchy! We got rid of that in 1692!

Helmut: But you still feed the fat cats in the White House and Congress, don’t you? Do you know how much it costs taxpayers each time trump goes a-golfing?

Tom: They are elected by taxpayers and taxpayers must make them comfortable!

Pierre: Do you know I was scared throughout the ceremony?

Boris: Why?

Pierre: These days of crazy scoundrels parading the streets of London I just prayed no nut head would pick a gun and cause pandemonium!

Boris: Not remotely possible; the security services worked twenty four hours to secure Windsor.

Tom: You can guess that; no sleep, no off-duties, and no chances!

Helmut: I won’t be surprised if all potential threats were sequestered days before the event now that you seem to have more Muslims in the UK than Christians!

Pierre: What has this got to do with Muslims?

Helmut: Well, all the terrorist attacks but one in the UK has been carried out by Muslim extremists?

Boris: We don’t call them Muslims! They are renegades!

Helmut: Renegades using a particular religion!

Tom: That’s the voice of Trump! Pigeonholes! Profiling!

Pierre: Events in the Middle East are enough to provoke fanatics of any religion to carry out destructive acts!

Tom: You have a point there. Just to say that most Muslims preach peace! A few extremists cannot be used to describe a whole population!

Pierre: I wish Muslim leaders would do more against the dominant narrative! Boko Haram is not Islam, for example, just as ISIS is not Islam, does not represent true Islam!

Boris: How many of those block heads know this?

Pierre: That’s the problem!

Tom: Not a problem really; we are dealing with the issue. By the way did you watch the countenance of Meghan’s mother?

Boris: She was very calm; shed some tears during the fairy tale wedding.

Helmut; Right expression! A fairy tale wedding! The unexpected suitor turns out to be a prince and he comes on a horse to take his queen away.

Tom: Can you beat that? She is now the Duchess of Sussex! How would Queen Victoria have handled this?

Boris: Impossible, irrelevant question. Queen Elizabeth handled it very well.

Helmut: I plan to make my daughter catch a prince too!

Pierre: For that you must restore your monarchy!

Helmut: No! You restore yours first and apologise for the executions of 1789. It might be a stabilizing factor in a world of post-democracy!

Pierre, Tom, & Boris: Post democracy?

Helmut: Let me use the bath. Will continue when I return!

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