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And the change goes on

By Eriye Onagoruwa
26 October 2015   |   3:44 am
The man has denied this strenuously and said that the Government House in Ekiti-State is one of the cheapest in the country.
 Kayode Fayemi

Kayode Fayemi

DO you think Fayemi will move into his ministerial apartment with the luxury bed he allegedly bought for 50 million naira?”
“Have you seen the bed yourself? Rumor mongers. The man has denied this strenuously and said that the Government House in Ekiti-State is one of the cheapest in the country. What else do you people want? He has challenged anyone to bring out a receipt and the invoice for such a bed.”

What else did you expect him to say? Who would bring out the invoice? Who has the receipt? And by the way, except I missed something, he still did not tell us categorically during the screening process, how much the bed costs. He said the government house remains one of the cheapest. I wonder if he has carried out any comparative analysis of the cost of government houses in Nigeria.”
“I wonder what his portfolio will be.”
“The president is not ready to release the portfolio I guess until all the ministers are screened.”
“Where does that happen? How do we judge their competencies?”

Most of his speech had the usual run-of-the-mill, flowery, garbcharacteristic of Nigerian politicians who say a lot and end up saying nothing really intellectual.”
“Hmm…what do we say naa? Audu Ogbeh said he was brought in to serve and had the necessary wealth of experience and had been in the school of life learning about agriculture.”

He has been one of the most talked about ministers with the revelation that he was screened as a minister by the late Olusola Saraki, and his son is also now screening him.”
“Busy body Nigerians. He is a great servant with a heart filled with agricultural ideas and innovations. Most people stay on the sidelines and just criticise. Why are we so negative?”
“He should have been able to groom younger people, mold and instill in them the lessons learned from the school of life in the department of agriculture. You think Baba had an extension office to learn farming?”

My brother, I won’t mind that kind of his farm o! I will diversify the economy right in my backyard!”
“Amaechi has repeatedly said that the allegations against him are all mere attempts to tarnish his image and rubbish him. In fact he has said he would be excited if the Rivers State Government goes ahead to take him to court. The guy used plenty English sha. He said the inquisition panel was shambolic and a comedy, a circus show which achieved nothing beyond political excitement, entertainment and theatrics.”

I dey laugh O! It seems these politicians are beginning to borrow a leaf or two from that our former House of Rep member. The other day one of Tinubu’s special aides while responding to an article written in The Sun Newspaper about him and Saraki’s alleged cold war, stated that the newspaper had taken a sad excursion from journalism into the realm of gothic tales and political slander.”

He has remained resolute in stating his innocence. I really do not know what people expect of him.”
“It is not enough to remain resolute. He has to back up his “innocence” with incontrovertible facts and evidentiary documents that can be critically examined and assessed by the wider public. You know we are always in these parts, quick to see every allegation and critique as coming from the camp of haters. This should not be the case. In fact, in other climes, such an individual would have declined the ministerial compensation being offered to him and concentrated on clearing his name”.

Considering all his noise and the President’s recent assertion that the ministers make a lot of noise while the civil servants actually do the work, Amaechi may be appointed minister of information and special projects.”
“But most of the names on the list do not really have much to offer in terms of well-thought out and articulate plans on the overall socio-economic development of our country.”

I guess this is because you are under the impression that they were appointed to change things or make any difference. My brother, Nigerian roads will still remain death traps for a long while, hospitals-a study in clinical absurdity, education a sham as far as public schools are concerned. Nothing is going to be significantly different. The foreign exchange rates do not have any plans of coming down.”
“Ah, let us not talk about the exchange rate. The Naira is in real trouble.”

It has to be my brother. The absence of a sound economic policy or blueprint has to be one of the most fundamental aspects of the change being experienced. These voodoo policies and lack of clarity in the economy will scare any right thinking investor from doing business in our country.”
“Be patient-Nigerians are used to microwave miracles.”

It doesn’t require much patience to understand from the body language of most of the minister designates and the economy that not much will happen”.
“My brother, let me be on my way. You know talking about Nigeria is not for the faint-hearted. The traffic situation in Lagos now has become like a scene from “hammer house of horror” movie. Only that, this is no movie. It is real and painfully excruciating. The other day I almost urinated on myself as I had been in the go-slow for over four hours.”

My dear, from the minute I saw the pictures of our Governor on his billboards, I knew we were in for some static change in Lagos. This one is Eko for show governance. Most times you can’t understand neither can you see the cause of the gridlock. It also seems LASTMA has lost its authority ever since it was announced that they did not have the power to impound vehicles. People are even driving on the BRT lanes and Okadas and Keke Napep drivers want to push car owners out of the road. Strategic roads are being repaired during the daytime!
Miscreants and area boys are coming out in droves now, springing up like abandoned weeds. Ah! The wahala is on every side.

Nigeria is not for small children. By the time I wake up, say my prayers and hit the road, I’d have cursed like four drivers and six danfo drivers. When I finally get out of traffic, life expectancy has already been cut by a quarter.”
“We will get there. Change has come. Till we see on Saturday my dear brother!”
• Onagoruwa wrote from Lagos.

2 Comments

  • Author’s gravatar

    Well written article. Just to add to the numerous points you have made, we had a resident’s meeting on Saturday in my estate to discuss how we can sustain 24hrs electricity we currently enjoy through part supply from PHCN/AEDC and our gigantic generator that has become a diesel guzzler. A resident warned that we should forget this body language changing electricity situation in Nigeria because from Q1 2016, the power situation will get really bad as the government has failed to make any investment in the power sector. My heart bled as even intellectuals jumped into the bandwargon that change has indeed come. That the body language of the President has changed things. Our collective intelligence was further insulted by OBJ who claimed we are now living the Nigeria of our dreams. A Nigeria where the Naira is sliding, I cant even make simple purchases abroad, revenue is dropping drastically, inflation practically kissing double digits, unemployment skyrocketing and investors fleeing the country in droves. Every negative economic index is now associated with us. A Nigeria where Fashola says he never signed any contract but failed to realize the governor is ultimately responsible for every corrupt practice under him (website for N78m), Ameachi claiming he has neither given nor accepted bribe but fails to give account of the billions that suddenly left the state coffers even a few days to the end of his tenure and yet contractors where never paid, teachers owed etc…..

  • Author’s gravatar

    Ambode the new governor, has set back Lagos by 8-10 years. The guy appears clueless.!